Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Recently,it is seen that population of few countries accounts for more younger generation and contains less elderly population. It has numerous advantages for the governments as they have more work force in the form of younger generation and less funds are required for elderly population. But it has few disadvantages for the society because it overall lack wise elder people who posses real exeprtsise and virtues.

One if the most worthwhile advanatge of having more young generation in any country"s population that now the nation have more workforce with strong creative minds. In this contemporary era, now It is high time to leave our traditional buisness practices and to give the steerwheel in hands of young intellectual people who can boost the economy of the country. For an instance, many young entrepeneurs have launched new startups and successful buisnesses, which help to improve the country's economy. Furhermore, less elder population eases the overall burden on the government because the governmnet will allocate less funds for their health care insurances and their pensions.and that money can be used to improve other facilities of the country.

Neverthless, the population containing less population with elders have few disadvantages for the society as there would be a void of wise people. Young people have more creativity to offer but eleders have more experieces and they have garned such reverances, that if there is any problem in the society, they can offer more plausible solutions.

To concude, the nations with more youth population have numerous advantages such as they have the ability to revitalize the economy and less allocation of funds for elders but we should not ignore their strong virtues and years experience

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You addressed all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a young population, presenting a clear position throughout. Your main ideas are relevant, such as the economic boost from young entrepreneurs and the reduced burden on government funds for healthcare and pensions. However, some of these ideas are under-developed rather than fully extended. For instance, while you briefly mentioned that older people offer wisdom and virtues, this point lacks specific examples or deeper explanation compared to the stronger development found in your first body paragraph. To reach a higher level, you need to fully develop all parts of your argument with equally robust supporting details and specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your response demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance presented from the introduction through to the conclusion. You attempted logical sequencing by dedicating separate paragraphs to advantages and disadvantages. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, transition phrases like "One if the most worthwhile advanatge" and "Neverthless" feel slightly awkward or repetitive. Furthermore, referencing is not always completely clear, and paragraphing could be managed with smoother logical bridges between the economic benefits and the social drawbacks. To improve, you should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices naturally without relying on mechanical transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You displayed an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as "entrepreneurs," "contemporary era," and "revitalize." However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout your text that prevent a higher score. Words like "exeprtsise" (expertise), "advanatge" (advantage), "buisnesses" (businesses), and "eleders" (elders) show spelling inaccuracies. Additionally, some collocations or word forms are slightly awkward, such as "posses real exeprtsise" or "garned such reverances." These lexical and spelling slips occasionally draw attention, but they do not seriously impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

Your essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied structures such as relative clauses and conditional ideas. However, there are some persistent errors in grammar and punctuation that surface throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like "population of few countries accounts for more younger generation and contains less elderly population" and prepositional or article errors like "give the steerwheel in hands of young intellectual people" and "years experience." Punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and missing terminal punctuation in sentences, are also noticeable. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and your meaning remains clear.

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