Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, a few countries have recorded an increased number of young adult's compared to the number of older generation. I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Although it causes unemployement and competition, they are the main drive force of the economy

One significant advantage of having more young adults is that they are the main drive force of the country economy. This is because young adults can generally cover for labor shortage in the country which helps in efficient production of goods as well as services. Furthermore, with a large number of labor, companies can get labor for low cost which may help in company to grow. For instance, many foriegn countries hire Indian employees for their jobs because India has the largest and youngest workforce and the companies can pay them less compared to their home countries people.

However, it is also a cause of unemployement and competition. As more young people enter workforce it can decrease the availability of jobs for people. As a result more people fall in to unemployement which further leads to young people sitting at home. Additionally, as the availability of jobs decrease the competition for existing ones increases by leaps and bounds as for one job role thousands of applicants apply just to support their families. For instance nowadays companies which offer very low positions with a low amount of salaries get flooded with applicants.

In conclusion, an increase in young people may lead to unemployement and tough competition to get jobs the economic gains are much more compared to the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population, presenting a clear position that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. While the economic advantages and labor market effects are introduced and supported with examples like foreign companies hiring Indian employees, the discussion on unemployment and competition tends to be repetitive and lacks deeper exploration. To reach a higher level, the ideas would need to be extended with more sophisticated reasoning and more comprehensive supporting evidence throughout every body paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The text presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and a well-defined conclusion that restates the writer's position. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as the advantages in the second paragraph and the disadvantages in the third. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or relies on basic transitions, and referencing can occasionally lack clarity. For instance, the transition between sentences within the body paragraphs could flow more smoothly to establish a stronger logical progression. Achieving a higher band would require more sophisticated and flexible cohesive devices, as well as seamless referencing across sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, demonstrating a sufficient range to communicate the main points about the economy and the workforce. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'drive force' and 'leaps and bounds', but these attempts are occasionally accompanied by inaccuracies in word choice, spelling ('unemployement', 'foriegn'), and collocation. These errors do not impede communication, but they restrict the score to the current level. To progress, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of precise, natural lexical items and demonstrate better control over spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to vary sentence structures when discussing economic impacts and job markets. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing articles ('country economy', 'lower cost'), pluralisation issues ('young adult's'), and prepositions within grammatical patterns ('fall in to'). Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains clear. To achieve a higher level, the writer must produce a greater frequency of error-free sentences while maintaining a wider and more accurate range of complex grammatical structures.

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