Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

At the current time, the growth of some states includes a approximately huge number of young adults, compared with the number of older individuals. In this eassy, I will discuse about benifits are outweight the disadvantages because, large number of young adults enhance economy of the state as compared to old people. But old humans have more experience of life than young people. For example, young adult are more active and every type of work can do easily and older people's have experience that how it can easily done every work without any physical effort.

The first benifit of young adult is that, young people are very strong and healthy mindset and every type of work can do easily. Such as, they can pick heavy weight and transfer one place to another place. Secondly, every day young adults done many work without any rest because they are young. For instance, A healthy young adult every day 10 to 16 hour work without any stress. Finally, most of the young adults daily exercise and they are fit in life and all work done effortless.

On the other hand, older people can't fit but they have different life experience, such as: without any physical effort every wory is done effordless. Furthermore, older individuals have several tips of life that how we can passing hard moment in out life without any difficulty because in our life some time we are so sad. For example, some time we lose are important thing and old people have some tips that how we pass

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task partially, presenting a position that leans towards young adults benefiting the economy more, although the conclusion is left unfinished. Some main ideas are presented, such as young adults being strong and capable of long working hours, but these ideas remain limited and under-developed with repetitive points about physical strength. For example, stating that a young adult can work '10 to 16 hour work without any stress' attempts to support the argument, but the reasoning is not fully extended. Furthermore, the counter-argument regarding older people having life experience is introduced in the introduction and final paragraphs, yet it lacks detailed explanation and clear examples. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to fully develop all parts of the prompt with well-supported arguments and a complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay shows some basic organization with paragraph breaks, but there is no clear overall progression throughout the text. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on transitional phrases like 'For example', 'Secondly', and 'Finally'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final paragraph breaks off abruptly mid-sentence, disrupting the logical flow of ideas. Pronoun referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as shifting between 'we' and 'young people' without consistency. To improve cohesion, the writer should ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic, use a wider variety of accurate cohesive devices to link sentences smoothly, and ensure all paragraphs are brought to a complete and logical conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task, with noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Throughout the text, there are several spelling and morphological mistakes, such as 'eassy' instead of essay, 'discuse' instead of discuss, 'benifits' instead of benefits, and 'effordless' instead of effortless. Phrases like 'a approximately huge number' and 'several tips of life' demonstrate awkward collocation and a restricted lexical range. The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary, but inaccurate word forms hinder precision. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, learn correct word collocations, and pay careful attention to standard English spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammar demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and articles throughout the response, such as 'young adult are more active', 'every day young adults done many work', and 'older people's have experience'. Attempts at complex sentences are often faulty, leading to ungrammatical structures like 'older individuals have several tips of life that how we can passing hard moment'. Punctuation is also inconsistently applied. To progress to a higher band, the writer needs to increase their control over basic sentence structures, reduce frequent errors in tense and agreement, and demonstrate accurate use of complex sentence forms.

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