Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, the populace of some nations includes a relatively large number of youth, compared with the figure of older individuals. This eassy will discuss advantages outweigh disadvantages.

To commence with, the advantages of having the large number of young adults . To elaborate, the majority of young generation in the country facilitate the inovation of new ideas in the nations, which helps in exchange of new creative ideas and economic development of the country . For instance, the nations have more creative ideas ,which helps in developing new things in the country such as scientific research. Therefore, it improve overall position of the country.

Another significant point is the reduce burden of authorities. To explain, if the figure of older people decline in nation , it helps in reducing the burden on authorised to provide old age pension to older individuals and employment opportunities, which government easily spend on other purposes such as healthcare, education, infrastructure development. Thus, the development of other fields.

To conclude , although the older people are important for the country, I believe that having large density of younger population is benefited because of innovation of new ideas and decline burden on government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt and takes a clear position, but it falls well short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 197 words. Because the length requirement is not met, the task response is necessarily limited. Ideas are presented regarding economic development and reduced government burden, but these are under-developed and lack extension or fully relevant supporting examples. For instance, the mention of scientific research is very general and not clearly connected to the specific advantages of a young demographic. To reach a higher band, the writer would need to meet the word count requirement and extend their main points with more specific, well-reasoned explanations and concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

There is a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at paragraphing and basic progression of ideas. The writer employs standard transitional markers to structure the essay, such as 'To commence with', 'Another significant point is', and 'To conclude'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical and referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in incomplete phrases like 'the advantages of having the large number of young adults .' Paragraphing is used, but the internal flow within paragraphs feels somewhat repetitive and disjointed. To achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, the writer should ensure that cohesive devices are used more naturally and that ideas flow smoothly from one sentence to the next without abrupt transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but the range is limited and repetition occurs, such as repeating 'creative ideas' and 'country' multiple times. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'inovation', 'demographic density', and 'infrastructure development', but these are accompanied by noticeable spelling errors ('eassy', 'inovation') and awkward word choices ('reduce burden of authorities', 'decline burden'). While meaning is generally conveyed, these lexical inaccuracies prevent the score from rising further. To improve, the student needs to expand their range of vocabulary, improve spelling accuracy, and focus on natural collocations rather than translating directly from simpler concepts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The text displays a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence forms, but control is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause some difficulty for the reader, such as missing articles ('if the figure of older people decline in nation'), incorrect verb forms ('Therefore, it improve overall position'), and prepositional errors ('benefit because of'). Punctuation is also faulty in places, notably with spacing and commas around transitional phrases. To move up to a higher band, the writer must demonstrate greater accuracy across a wider variety of complex structures and pay closer attention to basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.

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