Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

so in this case some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults and this is valuable and has many advantages but also has disadvantages too so if we talk about it advantages and disadvantages:

if the young youth is educated and country has more employment so it is a remarkable for county development since it improves country economy and if we talk about older people as we know that they are unemployed or retried and get sick and died for instance if we talk about Pakistan it has relatively large amount of young adults as compare to older people but still country is not developed since the younger population is unemployed and uneducated

now there is another example of Germany there young population is less as compare to older people so they need more younger youth to grow economy so they offer various scholarships to students from different countries moreover the older population is more so they need more health care services ,retirement income so they are burden to country subsequently more youth is required to generate more money and improve development

so in conclusion young youth is valuable but their come situations for instance better education more employment health care services if a county earn more so then they can protect their older population by providing them with good services and valuable resources

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially. Note that the length requirement is NOT met: the student's response contains 216 words, which is 34 words short of the 250-word minimum (34 words copied from the task prompt were not counted). The position on whether advantages outweigh disadvantages is not always clear, and the ideas are limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion regarding Pakistan and Germany touches on relevant themes like unemployment and healthcare, but these points are expressed superficially without full exploration. To reach a higher band, the writer must meet the minimum word count and extend their ideas with clearer explanations and specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation, but no clear overall progression. The response lacks proper paragraphing, as the entire essay is written as a single, continuous block of text after the copied prompt, which makes the structure difficult to follow. Cohesive devices are largely inadequate or repetitive, relying heavily on consecutive connectors like "so", "and", and "if we talk about" rather than a variety of linking words. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as shifting abruptly between countries and ideas without smooth transitions. To improve, the writer needs to divide the essay into distinct paragraphs with clear topic sentences and use a wider range of accurate cohesive devices to guide the reader through a logical argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used represents a limited but minimally adequate range for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as writing "young youth", "retried" instead of retired, and "county" instead of country. Phrasing is often repetitive and basic, lacking the precision required for higher bands. To progress, the writer should expand their lexical repertoire, incorporate less common academic vocabulary, and pay closer attention to correct word forms and spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response displays a very limited range of sentence structures, consisting mostly of lengthy, run-on sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions like "and" or "so" without proper punctuation. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues such as "some countries includes", missing articles, and a lack of periods or capital letters to demarcate sentences. These errors can cause difficulty for the reader and obscure the intended meaning. To improve, the writer needs to use a better mix of simple and complex sentences, control basic grammatical agreements, and employ accurate punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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