Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Although many countries are tackling the challenges that over population exerts, there are several countries that struggle with unbalanced population. In these countries, the number of older people often exceeds the proportion of young population. The disadvantages of larger number of older population compared to young adults outweight the benefits it might offer.

There are several reasons why the list of negatives of unbalanced population exeed the positives in it. Having elder people at your home or generally in any country could be helpful as they pass on generational traditions, rituals and knowledge, along with years of experience. But as long as they can survive naturally without long-term medical support.

Companies often prefer years of experience resulting in larger workforce of older population and reduction in youth employment. Additionally, older population requires medical assistance and support as they can't look after themselves after a specific time. As a result, government have to allocate pensions and supporting funds which could be used to resolve other societal issues. Moreover, they need long-term medical treatment which poses a threat to country's medical and healthcare resources which could be used to treat other patients.

On the other hand, young adults are often healthy, requiring little healthcare support, which could result in saving government wealth that could be utilized in other sectors such as education and infrastructure. Young adult population is the one that earns, contributes, innovates and pays taxes. If they will have more elder people at home, they have to take the role of caretaker. As a result their productivity and creativity is killed while juggling with the responsibilities. For instance, Japan and China recently faced the unbalanced population issue because of their single-child policy to control growing population. Later, the major part of their population were older people who needed assistance and couldn't contribute in country's economy. For a long time, they provided free visas so that young foreigners can join their workforce until their own population achieved an equilibrium.

To sum up, I believe a country shouldn't use their advanced medications to increase the lifetime of elderly people and they should be allowed to die with dignity. The same resources utilized in the older population's survival, sustainability and maintaince could be redirected to other sectors of country, especially supporting young people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an older population compared to young adults, and presents a clear position that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. However, the development of ideas is uneven. While some points, such as the economic contribution of young adults and the examples of Japan and China, are extended, others are left under-developed or unclear. For instance, the premise that companies prefer older workers over the youth is asserted without adequate explanation. Furthermore, the argument in the conclusion takes a rather extreme stance regarding medical treatments. To move to a higher band, the student should ensure all main ideas are equally well-supported and explore the prompt with more nuanced reasoning rather than sweeping assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear central stance, and paragraphs are generally used to separate distinct stages of the argument. However, cohesion at the sentence level is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For instance, transitional phrases like 'On the other hand' are used loosely, and referencing is not always clear, such as in the sentence 'Having elder people at your home or generally in any country could be helpful... But as long as they can survive naturally...' which results in a fragmented sentence structure. Additionally, progression within paragraphs occasionally falters due to abrupt shifts between ideas. To achieve a higher level, the student needs to employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices without overusing or misapplying them, ensuring smoother logical links between sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, successfully conveying the writer's arguments about demographics and economics. The student attempts less common vocabulary items such as 'unbalanced population', 'allocation', and 'sustainability'. However, there are notable lexical inaccuracies in word choice and word formation, such as 'outweight' instead of 'outweigh', 'elder people' instead of 'elderly people', and 'maintaince' instead of 'maintenance'. Some phrases also sound slightly unnatural, like 'saving government wealth'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they prevent the writing from achieving a higher score. To improve, the student should focus on precision in word choice, correct spelling, and more natural collocations when discussing complex social and economic topics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional and relative clauses, as seen in '...healthcare resources which could be used to treat other patients.' However, there are persistent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly with subject-verb agreement and articles, such as 'government have to allocate' instead of 'the government has to allocate' and 'major part of their population were' instead of 'was'. Prepositions within grammatical patterns are also occasionally mishandled. While these errors rarely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to restrict the score at this level. To reach the next band, the student should aim to increase the proportion of error-free complex sentences and pay closer attention to articles and singular-plural agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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