Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowdays, almost every country is trying to have more youth than older population because youth contributes more to the developement of a country than olds.

In recent times, some countries encompasses more younger population than the elder one.

while there are few disadvantages of older population getting alleviated and younger population getting peaked, the positives are farmore.

Our youngers populations are the strengths of our community and the contribution of them to the present developements worths every country's attention. From working as a labour force to contributing in higher cognitive and technicals developments ,their competitiveness could never be matched.

Furthermore, the bulk of under developed and developoing country's economy is based on the remittances sent by their diasporas.

Also some analyst reported that the major taxpayer burden of a contry these days are shared by these youngsters.

Comparitively, reduction of older populations and incremention in youngs are making the governments of countries to be more concerned about the unemployments and as increasing population of younger will need the country to create more opportunities.

Also our education systems requires foriegn fundings because our major proportions of countries are developing countries and countries nowdays are unable to bear the youth educational burden.

Because of the same reasons, the opportunities are getting shrinked and youngers are trying to be part of survival of the fittest community.

Conclusively, having youngsters groups are benefitting the global sphere more than having older groups and they are the one you has the potential of making their countries proud by their ability to participate and shine in every areas of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of a predominantly young population, establishing a clear stance that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. However, the ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed, keeping the content at this level. For instance, the discussion on economic contributions mentions labour forces and remittances, but these points lack specific examples or deep extension. Similarly, the disadvantages concerning unemployment and educational burdens are introduced briefly without sufficient elaboration. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to expand on their core arguments with fully explained examples and deeper analysis rather than relying on generalised statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay displays some organisation with basic paragraphing, but there is a lack of clear overall progression. The movement between ideas feels abrupt, and cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on simple transitional words like 'Also' and 'Furthermore'. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it hard to follow the exact logical thread of the arguments—for example, the transition between discussing economic remittances and taxpayer burdens. To achieve better cohesion, the writer should employ a wider and more accurate range of cohesive ties and ensure that each paragraph builds logically and smoothly upon the previous one with clear signposting.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to communicate the central ideas. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices throughout the text, such as 'developement' (development), 'olds' (older people), 'farmore' (far more), 'developoing' (developing), and 'shrinked' (shrunk). Furthermore, non-standard phrases like 'survival of the fittest community' demonstrate an insecure control of collocations and word forms, which occasionally causes some difficulty for the reader. To improve in this criterion, the student must expand their vocabulary range, learn correct word forms, and pay closer attention to spelling and standard collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing exhibits a limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'our youngers populations are' and 'our education systems requires', incorrect article usage, and awkward prepositional patterns. Frequent errors in punctuation and word formation also affect sentence boundaries and clarity. For example, 'the major taxpayer burden of a contry these days are shared' displays agreement flaws. To progress, the student needs to produce a greater variety of error-free complex sentences, paying meticulous attention to verb tenses, plurals, articles, and agreement.

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