Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Currently,the population of young genenration relataively large in many states,compared with the number of older ones.I tend to pen down pros and cons of the large number of people.

In the contemperory era, the proportion of young generation have benefits they can contribute well in economy growth,According to the 2025 researcher claims that 60% youth now more focused on how to make money through digital skills and contribute in their economy.For instance,In recent months youngster has been geeting involved in stock market and represent their countries.As a results youngster taking more interest and developed their skill to contribute in their economy.

On the other hand,Older people are not tech savy they are not well aware of techonolgy which is played a very important role in their life. Youngster are running fake call center where they targets older people to get money thorugh fake call scam

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response addresses the prompt only partially, and importantly, it fails to meet the minimum length requirement, containing only 145 words instead of the required 250. The content attempts to discuss the pros and cons of having a large young population, but the ideas remain very limited and under-developed. For instance, the mention of digital skills and stock markets in the second paragraph is underdeveloped, and the counter-argument regarding older people and phone scams is disjointed and tangential to the broader societal advantages and disadvantages of demographic structures. To improve, the writer must fully develop arguments with well-reasoned explanations and examples while satisfying the word count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation in the text, with attempts to separate ideas into paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are either inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, such as the frequent awkward use of commas and basic transition phrases like 'In the contemperory era' and 'On the other hand'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the abrupt ending of the essay disrupts the logical flow. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to ensure ideas follow a clear logical progression and use a wider, more accurate range of cohesive devices without mechanical errors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The vocabulary contains noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form that can cause some difficulty for the reader, such as 'genenration', 'relataively', 'contemperory', 'tech savy', and 'techonolgy'. While there are attempts to use less common words like 'proportion' and 'economy growth', the frequent errors prevent clearer communication. To improve, the writer should focus on accurate spelling, correct word forms, and expanding the range of functional vocabulary related to demographic topics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing displays a very limited range of sentence structures with frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent errors in verb forms, tense usage, articles, and punctuation, such as comma splices ('Currently,the population...', 'older ones.I tend...') and missing verbs ('the proportion of young generation have benefits'). Attempts at complex sentences are often faulty or incomplete. To progress to a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate better control over basic sentence construction, improve punctuation, and reduce the frequency of grammatical errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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