Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

At the present time, yes there is a larger proportion of younger people's in some countries, in comparision with the percentage of older people. While this demographic balance presents certain challenges regarding dependency ratios and infrastructure, I believe that the advantages, such as dynamic workforce and greater economic innovations, outweighs the disadvantages of this situation.

On the negative side, having many young adults creates a few problems. The biggest issue is employment. When millions of young adults completes school and look for work at the same time, there may not be enough jobs available. This leads to high youth unemployment and stress for job seekers. Furthermore, governments have to spend lot of money to build more universities and training centres instead of focusing on other needs.

However, the advantages of the young society are much more significant. Firstly, young people are usually full of energy, creativity, and new ideas. They quickly learn new technology and help businesses grow and modernize. Secondly, a large working age group population means more of them are paying taxes, through which government can use this tax money to improve public services like roads, parks, and public transport. For example, countries with many young workers often attracts foreign countries because they have a strong and active workforce.

In conclusion, even though a young population can cause serious job competition, the positive effects on the economy, innovations, and overall national development make it a very favorable situation for the nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a young population, presenting a clear position throughout. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which is characteristic of this level. For instance, the advantage regarding workforce dynamism and taxation is reasonably well supported, but the points about employment challenges remain somewhat general and could have been extended with further examples or detail. Additionally, it must be noted that the response falls short of the word count requirement, containing 243 words instead of the minimum 250, which slightly impacts the overall completeness of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion, showing partial elements of higher-level organisation. Information and arguments are logically distributed into paragraphs, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct theme. However, cohesion can sometimes feel a bit mechanical or faulty, such as the sudden transition in the opening paragraph and occasional referencing issues. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to structure the response, but smoother and more varied cohesive devices would be needed to elevate the text further.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

An adequate range of vocabulary is deployed for the task, successfully communicating the writer's ideas. The student attempts less common vocabulary, such as 'dependency ratios', 'dynamic workforce', and 'favorable situation', with some minor inaccuracies in word form and choice, for instance, writing 'younger people's' instead of 'younger people' and 'comparision' instead of 'comparison'. Spelling and word-choice errors are present, such as 'completes school' and 'spend lot of money', but they do not impede communication, allowing the reader to follow the arguments without difficulty.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms utilized throughout the essay, including conditional and subordinate clauses such as 'While this demographic balance presents certain challenges...' and 'When millions of young adults completes school...'. Some errors in grammar and punctuation are noticeable, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'young adults completes' and 'attracts foreign countries' instead of 'attract foreign countries', along with missing articles like 'spend lot of money'. Nevertheless, these errors rarely impede communication, and the basic grammatical structures are generally controlled well.

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