Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays,some countries have a relatively high proportion of young adults as compared to older people.Althrough this situation can create certain changlles,I believe that the advantage outweigh the disadvantages.
The main thing is that it is advantage of young people
because in over industries or public servants w
e need to prefer young peoples as compared to older people because older peoples dont have enough energy to do work or doing jobs because they are not fit physical or mentally so in my opinon younger people is the benefit for the governments because governments needs young people for sevice not hiring older people.
Upcoming days like older peoples were not fit physically or mentally so they can not perform tasK.Reasons,The main thing younger peoples more fit by physical,mentally so they can perform task easliy or younger people also live more than older peoples.Older peoples are not fit phyically mentally unstable so alwalys younger peoples is more efficient as compared to older peoples.For example,In many countries like USA,JAPAN in this country they were set a age of peoples in 60 you are retired from work so they always hire younger peoples for the jobs or its benefit for the government.
IN my knowledge or experience, I will always prefer young peoples for the jobs or any sports activities because younger peoples more faster than older peoples because i will give task so i need to done work on the given time thats why younger peoples are better than to older peoples. Older peoples were also lazy as compared to younger peoples.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the advantages of a population with many young adults outweigh the disadvantages, taking a clear stance that advantages are greater. However, the ideas are very limited and under-developed. For example, the student asserts that young people have more energy and are physically and mentally fit, but this point is repeated multiple times without effective expansion or specific supporting examples, relying instead on a vague mention of countries like the USA and Japan. The response only minimally responds to the core aspects of the task, which places it firmly at this level where ideas lack sufficient breadth and depth.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay lacks overall logical organisation and clear progression. While there is an attempt to separate ideas into paragraphs, information is not arranged coherently, and the text suffers from repetitive statements, such as repeatedly mentioning that older people are physically or mentally unfit. Cohesive devices are either inadequate or misused, and referencing between sentences is often unclear, which disrupts the flow of reading and makes it difficult for the reader to follow a cohesive line of argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive throughout the text, featuring frequent reliance on simple words like 'young peoples' and 'older peoples'. There are noticeable lexical errors in word form and choice, such as 'changlles' instead of 'challenges' and 'advantage' used where an adjective or noun phrase is needed. These errors and the limited range of vocabulary cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a basic control of lexical resources appropriate for this level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, relying heavily on simple sentence structures and repetitive clauses. Attempts at more complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to run-on sentences and severe structural issues, such as 'Althrough this situation can create certain changlles,I believe that the advantage outweigh the disadvantages.' Frequent errors in punctuation, missing articles, incorrect plurals, and subject-verb agreement issues are present throughout the text and cause significant difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar clearly at this level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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