Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In many countries , there was large number of the youth generation as compared to the older people . There is an the era of the young people because the older people effected to the many diseases in this older age and become not able to survive for a long period of time . There is an big loss and disadvantages for us .

In my opinion , there is an very low ratio of the older people as compared to the young generation . Young people should stead fast and do better living doing exercise and many other activities as compared to the older peoples because older peoples should effected by the many diseases and shortage of the breathe .

For example , In many countries there is no proper care for the older people and do not eat food at time . There child not take care for them and do not spent time with there older parents and many other older people there is a big reason for the older people the child do not give them proper food and diet and not gave them enough money for their survivals .

Overall , these are some main reasons for increasing in the youth generation and decreasing in the ratio of the older people . In my opinion , government should make proper facilities and development for the older people and protect them for the healthy diet and proper living societies for them and protect them from there own homemates .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response addresses the prompt only partially, fulfilling the requirements at a minimal level. The writer attempts to discuss whether a large young population compared to older people is advantageous or disadvantageous, but the position is not always clear, and the arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive. Ideas regarding health issues such as diseases and breathing difficulties are mentioned without clear elaboration or direct comparison to the advantages. The response touches upon societal aspects in the third and fourth paragraphs, but the reasoning remains disjointed and lacks fully developed extension to thoroughly weigh both sides of the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Information and ideas are not arranged in a fully coherent manner, though there is a rudimentary structure with four distinct paragraphs. The progression throughout the essay is difficult to follow because of abrupt shifts in focus and a lack of clear logical links between sentences. Cohesive devices are minimal or inaccurate, such as repetitive use of transitional phrases like 'In my opinion' and 'For example' which do not always connect the ideas logically. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it hard to determine what pronouns like 'their' or 'there' refer to within the sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, employing simple words to express ideas with noticeable limitations in range. There are frequent errors in word choice, word form, and collocation that occasionally strain the reader, such as 'youth generation', 'effected to the many diseases', and 'shortage of the breathe'. Less common lexical items are rarely attempted, and when they are, the usage is inaccurate. Spelling errors also appear, reflecting a restricted control over vocabulary appropriate for academic writing tasks.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The range of grammatical structures is very limited, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex structures that are consistently faulty. There are persistent errors in basic grammar, including article usage ('the youth generation', 'an the era'), subject-verb agreement ('older peoples should effected'), prepositions, and verb tenses ('there was large number'). Punctuation is also erratic. These frequent errors occur throughout the text and can cause significant difficulty for the reader in grasping the intended meaning.

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