Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, the population of many countries includes a relatively huge number of young people, compared with the number of older people. It is widely beleive that this issue has become increasing significant in all modern societies. This trend offers many advantages for countries for their development and sucess. In my opinion, there is many advantages for countries in which young peole higher than old people which offers development, technical growth, social awareness,improving knowledge communication and many more . This essy will discuss the advantages of young generation in countries.

To begin with technical growth of state, young people play vital role in their country technical growth. For example, many educated young peolpe create and produce many technical things. This may result in economical production of their nation. In addition, in young generation, there are strong communication skills. For instance, they learn new skills easily and earn fame in the specific field. This may lead to gave great reputation for country across the world.

Moreover, another benefit is advanced education system in such type of nations. For example, advance education system produce many powerful persons. This may offers many benefits for their next generations. Furthermore, in such type of states, people is social aware across the world. For example, if incident takes in the world then their young people also social aware.

In conclusion, although there are many advantages of young people in countries, certain drawbacks are also there. In my personal thought, their advantages is higher than their dissadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task partially, attempting to discuss whether the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages. However, the position is not always clear, and the ideas are limited and under-developed. For instance, the opening paragraph outlines several points such as technical growth, social awareness, and knowledge communication, but these are repeated rather than extended in the body paragraphs. Furthermore, the length requirement of 250 words is not met, as the response falls short by one word, which contributes to the minimal development seen across the essay. To reach a higher level, you should ensure that every body paragraph introduces a distinct, fully explained idea with relevant examples, and you must carefully check your word count to meet the minimum requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates some organisation with basic paragraphing and simple transitional markers like 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. However, there is no clear overall progression, and the logical flow is hindered by repetitive statements. For example, the introduction states that the essay will discuss advantages, but the final paragraph abruptly jumps to mentioning 'certain drawbacks' without having actually discussed any specific disadvantages in the body. Cohesive devices are frequently repetitive or overly mechanical, such as the constant use of phrases like 'For example' and 'In addition'. To improve coherence, you should ensure that each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one and that cohesive devices are varied and used naturally to guide the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form that cause some difficulty for the reader, such as 'beleive' instead of believe, 'increasing significant' instead of increasingly significant, 'sucess' instead of success, and 'dissadvantages' instead of disadvantages. The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'economical production' and 'social aware', but these demonstrate awkward collocations and grammatical form errors rather than precise lexical control. To achieve a higher score, you should expand your vocabulary range, pay closer attention to word formation and spelling, and ensure that words are used in accurate collocations that fit the academic context naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response relies heavily on a limited range of simple and basic sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are often faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar, including subject-verb agreement issues such as 'there is many advantages' and 'people is social aware', as well as missing articles and prepositions. For instance, writing 'young peole higher than old people' and 'lead to gave great reputation' exhibits severe structural flaws that impede readability. Punctuation and phrasing also show a lack of control. To move up to the next band, you must increase your grammatical range by practising complex sentence patterns accurately, and eliminate basic errors in subject-verb agreement and verb forms.

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