Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

unequivacally, population one of major problem for world. However currently young individuals compared with older people.utilimately it has both pros and cons which delinated in the upcoming paragraphs.

First and Foremost, it has various reasons in which early adults in comparsion with old ages such as they know how to use advance technolgy .For example,factory machinery and ai technology majorily properly use by younger people as to old population.Secondly,youngers have more samina in work places to do fast workdone such as

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement, containing only 81 words compared to the required 250 words. Because of this extreme brevity, the task is addressed only minimally. While the writer introduces the topic and hints at both advantages and disadvantages, the ideas remain heavily restricted and underdeveloped. For instance, the mention of younger people understanding advanced technology, such as factory machinery and AI, is not extended or supported with clear explanations or relevant examples. To reach a higher level, the writer would need to write a full-length essay that covers all parts of the task thoroughly, presenting a clear position and fully developing arguments with well-supported ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The text demonstrates basic attempts at organization, using introductory phrases like 'First and Foremost' and 'Secondly'. However, the information and ideas are not arranged coherently overall, and the text breaks off abruptly mid-sentence, leaving the structure incomplete. Paragraphing is attempted, but the links between sentences are weak and referencing is unclear, which disrupts the logical progression of the writing. To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer should ensure that each paragraph contains a complete argument supported by cohesive devices that connect ideas smoothly, along with a clear introduction and conclusion to guide the reader through the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and limited, with several noticeable spelling and word choice errors that strain comprehension, such as 'unequivacally', 'utilimately', 'delinated', and 'samina'. There are attempts at less common lexical items, including 'technology' and 'machinery', but these are undermined by frequent inaccuracies in word form and spelling. To move up to a higher band, the writer needs to expand their lexical range, demonstrate greater precision in word choice and collocation, and ensure correct spelling for both common and academic vocabulary throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing relies on a very limited range of sentence structures, and attempts at complex or compound statements are frequently faulty. There are multiple grammatical errors, including missing articles, incorrect verb forms, and awkward phrasing such as 'population one of major problem for world' and 'majorly properly use by younger people'. These frequent errors impact the readability of the text. To achieve a better grade, the writer must demonstrate greater control over basic and complex grammatical structures, improve subject-verb agreement, manage word order more effectively, and reduce the frequency of errors that cause difficulty for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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