Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many nations the percentage of young individuals is incresing in resent time . campared to peope from old age .

To begain with the first and the biggest plus point of incressed youngsters is more working individuals in the countery . To explain it in detales more young people mean incresed number of workers that means more economical activity becouse its have been seen that workers in a young age workes more and contrebute more tax in the country campared to people from old age . to explain it in form of an example, a worker at to supermarket at you young age workes atlest 40 hours a week on the othjer hand an old parson can't do such work that easyly becouse he have a week health and body campared to an young worker

The other banefit the statment is people at the start of there life can contrebute more in the socity becouse they work more so they earn more and a big part of that money goes to the tax . that is used in the devlapment of the roads or in many socal couses such as belting schools and many more for an example a parson at the age of 25 if he work at 30$ an hour 40 hours a week he weal make 57600$ a year and around 7 thousand $ weal be callecgted by the government for tax purpuses . that help our country a lot in present and future

in conclusion i beleve that having more young individuals as a working populaton is an positive side of any nation

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the economic advantages of having a younger population, such as increased workforce participation and tax contributions. However, the task is only addressed partially because the disadvantages of this demographic situation are completely omitted, which prevents a balanced discussion. Furthermore, the position is not always clearly maintained, and the ideas presented are limited and somewhat repetitive, relying heavily on the same point about taxes and workers without sufficient extension or detailed support.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation with attempts at paragraphing and introductory and concluding remarks, but there is no clear overall progression throughout the essay. Cohesive devices are either inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, leading to a mechanical feel. For example, transition phrases like 'To begain with' and 'To explain it in detales' are used repetitively and clumsily to link thoughts. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow the logical development from one sentence to the next as ideas tend to loop back on themselves rather than move forward.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for conveying basic ideas about work and taxes. There are numerous noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, such as 'incresing', 'resent', 'campared', 'begain', 'incressed', 'countery', 'detales', 'becouse', 'workes', 'contrebute', 'banefit', 'devlapment', 'socal', 'couses', 'belting', 'parson', 'weal', and 'callecgted'. These errors require the reader to occasionally pause and decipher the meaning, though communication is generally maintained despite the strain caused by frequent inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammar demonstrates a very limited range of structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences alongside attempts at complex structures that are frequently faulty. There are frequent errors in basic grammar, including missing or incorrect articles, subject-verb agreement issues (such as 'workers... workes'), incorrect prepositions, and pervasive punctuation errors, particularly the lack of proper sentence boundaries and capitalization. For instance, sentences like 'that is used in the devlapment of the roads or in many socal couses such as belting schools and many more for an example a parson at the age of 25...' run on without proper punctuation, causing significant difficulty for the reader.

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