Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowaday the population of some countries includes a relatively large number og young adults compared with the number of older people has a hot topic all over the worlds. Their main reason is that the population is very high in our country with old people. In mu opinion the advantage of having a young population outweigh the disadvantage.
One major advantage is that young people bcan contribute signeficantly to economy. They are generly healthy and active. They can do anything for their job. young people can do job in many sector they can do lots of work. They are free of the life. young and adult learn so many skills. Adult are so active in sports and other activities.Young adult can earn money from home to use a computer. Adult people have so many knowledge like study, sports, and also a good knowledge of computer also.
Another benefit is that young people can support the development of society also. They can open a online business also. In this time so many young people open a online business its give so many profit. Young adults can so many works.
However large population of young adults are also a some disadvantage . If their is not enough job it can be effect our life. when all young adult want job in our country it is very harmful also .Being a adult is not is easy thing we can manage all of the work .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response responds to the task only minimally and tangentially, struggling to properly develop a clear argument about whether the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages. Note that 19 words copied from the task prompt were not counted, and the response falls short of the minimum length requirement of 250 words, totaling only 223 words. The ideas presented are limited and frequently repetitive, such as stating multiple times that young people can work in various sectors or use computers, without providing adequate, well-supported examples. The writer attempts to take a position in the introduction, but the reasoning remains underdeveloped and fails to fully explore both sides of the issue as requested by the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay displays some basic organization with discernible paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, relying heavily on basic linkers and repetitive phrasing like 'They can' and 'Adult people'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow of ideas within paragraphs is often disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow a logical argument from start to finish. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, causing confusion regarding who or what the pronouns refer to.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, utilizing a very limited range of words that often strain the reader's understanding. There are frequent errors in word choice, word form, and spelling throughout the text, such as 'Nowaday', 'og', 'signeficantly', 'generly', and 'open a online business'. These lexical slips and inaccuracies demonstrate a restricted control over vocabulary, preventing the writer from expressing more complex ideas with precision or natural collocation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentence structures with frequent errors that often distort meaning. There are numerous issues with verb forms and tenses, subject-verb agreement, articles, and plurals, such as 'the advantage of having a young population outweigh', 'Adult are so active', and 'If their is not enough job it can be effect our life'. Attempts at complex structures are rare and consistently faulty, and punctuation errors further disrupt the flow of reading.
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