Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

To begin with , there are several reasons population of some countries is that important in our daily life . The main reasons is that large number of young adults can have dircet effect on people and society . Many people face this issue population in their daily lives , it can influenced their lifestyle in different way . For example it may affect population increased , education , government , health issue , or relationships . In addition , young people and older people can also be influenced by this situation . The government control the population and new law this countray way to improve the situation . Another important point is that compared the numbers of ages but older people of number respectively ages . Control the population realtively large number of young adults . Another important point is that other countries the population can have both psitive and negative effects . It mainly depends on how people use it and how they deal with the situation .

Moreover , there are some possible control the population way to improve the situation . The government sectors instance nadra office , schools , hospital , police etc can also important role by providing guidance and support . People should have proper knowledge and should make responsible decisions . For instance , simple rules and law this order better awereness can help people make better choices .

In conclusion , extra population this countray is india and not control the population is that important issue that should not be ignored . If people , which work togather control the population this india , the negative effect can be reduced and improve the situation .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response makes a limited attempt to discuss the topic, but it does not clearly answer whether having more young adults than older people brings greater advantages or disadvantages. Instead, it repeatedly shifts to population control, for example, “The government control the population” and “extra population this countray,” which is not the comparison the question asks you to evaluate. The conclusion also says the issue should not be ignored without stating which side outweighs the other. Some relevant areas are mentioned, such as education, health and government, but they are listed rather than explained or supported with relevant examples. To improve, state your position directly, then develop two or three relevant reasons comparing the benefits and drawbacks of a younger population.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an opening, a further paragraph beginning “Moreover,” and a conclusion beginning “In conclusion.” Linking expressions such as “For example” and “In addition” also show awareness of how ideas can be connected. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the central point changes between age structure and population control, and several sentences do not form a clear argument. For instance, “Another important point is that compared the numbers of ages” is hard to connect to the surrounding ideas. The conclusion introduces India without establishing it as an example earlier. Build each paragraph around one clear point, explain how it relates to the question, and use linking phrases only where the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts some topic-related vocabulary, including “population,” “government,” “education,” “health issue,” and “responsible decisions.” It also uses a few phrases intended to express evaluation, such as “positive and negative effects.” However, vocabulary is often repetitive or used in unclear combinations, which makes the intended meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “control the population way,” “population increased,” and “the government sectors instance.” There are also spelling errors, such as “dircet,” “realtively,” and “awereness.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases connected to the task, such as “a youthful population,” “the working-age population,” and “pressure on public services.” Check spelling and collocations, and avoid repeating “population” when a more precise term is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, including “It mainly depends on how people use it and how they deal with the situation” and a conditional idea in the conclusion. Some basic sentence patterns are understandable, but errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and verb forms frequently make other sentences difficult to interpret. For example, “The main reasons is that large number of young adults can have dircet effect” has problems with subject–verb agreement and missing articles, while “it can influenced their lifestyle” uses an incorrect verb form. Several fragments or incomplete constructions also appear, including “Another important point is that compared the numbers of ages.” Practise writing complete subject–verb sentences, then check agreement, articles and verb forms before adding more complex clauses.

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