Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this day and age, in several nations young adults account for higher proportion in today's population than elderly people. This trend has various benefits, such as a stronger workforce, as well as innovation and development, but it also have detrimental impacts, such as pressure on jobs. According to my perspective advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

To begin with, one major advantage is younger population leads to a stronger workforce. More young individuals means more workers in every sector, which assist to rapid increase of economic growth. They can contribute to economic growth and productivity. Nowadays, today generation is more friendly with technology than older people, with the help of artificial intelligence (AI) they can bring new ideasand start their business. They are more willing to learn new skills and adapt to new technology. For instance, younger entrepreneur can establish their own business and create employment for others.

Another important point is, large working population can reduce financial burden on government. If all citizens are employed, pay taxes and contribute to economy. These money can be used to improve other infrastructure such as health care, education and many more. However, the most significant problem is pressure on job market. If number of young people frow faster than number of jobs. As a consequence it may leads to unemployment.

In conclusion, although a large young population can create pressure on employment and public services, but from my perspective it's benefits are larger than drawbacks beacuse it make stronger workforce and contribute to economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits of a younger population outweigh the drawbacks, and you address both sides by discussing workforce growth, innovation, government finances and job-market pressure. The examples about young entrepreneurs and tax contributions are relevant. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that a larger working population reduces the government’s financial burden needs a clearer link to how employment and tax revenue offset public costs. The disadvantage is also only briefly developed: unemployment is mentioned, but its effects or possible scale are not explored. To strengthen the response, explain each main idea with a specific cause-and-effect link or a more concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, with a generally logical movement from benefits to a drawback. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “Another important point” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the second body paragraph shifts abruptly from the benefit of tax revenue to the employment disadvantage. The conditional sentence beginning “If number of young people…” is left incomplete, which interrupts the progression. Some references are also unclear, as in “These money,” where the reader must infer that this means tax revenue. Use smoother transitions between contrasting points and make references explicit to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “workforce,” “economic growth,” “productivity,” “financial burden” and “unemployment,” which allows you to discuss the issue clearly. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “adapt to new technology” and “create employment.” However, several word-choice, collocation and spelling problems reduce precision: “higher proportion” needs an article, “friendly with technology” is not the natural expression here, and “frow” and “beacuse” are misspelled. Phrases such as “today generation” and “these money” are also awkward. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and proofread spelling; this will make your vocabulary more effective without needing unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex forms, including a relative clause in “technology than older people” and a conditional structure about employment. Meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “it also have” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “If number of young people frow faster than number of jobs” is an incomplete conditional clause. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent in phrases such as “a stronger workforce” and “younger entrepreneur,” and the conclusion’s “although … but” construction is not grammatically controlled. Practise complete conditional sentences and check agreement, articles and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these structures would make the argument easier to read.

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