Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

An educated youth is the greatest asset of a nation. In current time, the proportion of youngsters in some nations is larger than the number of old-age people. I personally believe that, the advantage of having more young people outweigh its disadvantages.

On the one hand, having a huge population of young people means rapid economic growth. When we have more eligible people for all sectors like education, industries, and healthcare, it is more likely that they can drive meaningful change in the society. For example, we can have scientist and doctors of young age due to the fact that young people are more easier to learn new skills and they have more experience in handling technology like computers and other machines. Furthermore, they have strong stamina to cope with all situations, so they can shape the future of the nation more precisely.

On the other hand, having a lot of young people can also result in overcrowded job sector. People have to face unemployment which would result in high rate of crimes. For instance, crime rate is increasing for age group 14 to 25 day by day in many countries due to unemployment. Moreover, the competition for getting jobs is becoming harder, which can leads to stress and anxiety. A lot of people start taking anti-stress pills at a very young age in many countries. However, its benefits are still more than its drawbacks because we can control all these situations by providing more job opportunities and industries.

In conclusion, the increasing rate of young population can create issues but still its benefits are greater in the form of more chances in economic growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction—“the advantage … outweigh its disadvantages”—and remains consistent in the conclusion. You address both sides with relevant points: a larger young population may support economic growth, while job competition may contribute to unemployment, crime, and stress. The examples of young people entering science and medicine and of unemployment-related crime help extend the discussion. This is a well-focused response, though some claims are broad and would benefit from more precise explanation. For instance, explain how a larger workforce translates into growth, and qualify the claim about crime among people aged 14 to 25. The proposed solution of creating jobs and industries is relevant but could be developed to show how it would address the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” make the shift between benefits and drawbacks easy to follow, while “However” signals your final weighing of the issue. The main ideas generally progress logically within each paragraph. Some connections, however, feel mechanical, and the long sequence of claims in the first body paragraph could be organised more clearly. For example, the points about education, industries, healthcare, technology, and stamina would be easier to follow if grouped around one central explanation of how young adults contribute. Use pronouns and linking phrases carefully so references such as “its benefits” have an unmistakable antecedent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “unemployment,” “competition,” and “stress and anxiety,” which allows you to discuss both sides of the issue. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “eligible people” and “overcrowded job sector,” but these are not always natural or precise in context. Some wording is repetitive, particularly the repeated references to “young people” and “more.” Choose collocations that express your meaning accurately: for example, describe a “competitive labour market” rather than an “overcrowded job sector.” The phrase “anti-stress pills” is also informal and imprecise for this essay. More careful word choice and a wider range of natural collocations would make the argument more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses beginning with “When” and “which,” and most sentences communicate their meaning clearly. Some grammatical errors remain, but they rarely prevent understanding. Examples include “the advantage … outweigh its disadvantages,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “which can leads,” where the modal should be followed by the base form. There are also issues with articles and plurals in “we can have scientist and doctors,” and the opening phrase “I personally believe that,” has unnecessary punctuation. Review subject–verb agreement, modal verb patterns, and article use, then proofread sentence boundaries and commas. Greater accuracy across these structures would strengthen the response.

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