Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's era, the population of younger generation are larger than comparing with the population of elder ones. While younger people contributes much to the society, having less people of older age in the society have it's own disadvantages.

To commence with, younger individuals are more energetic as compare to the elder ones, for which they contribute much in the overall development of the society. For instance, younger people can work and pay taxes which is further use by the government in the overall development of the nation. Along with this, younger individuals can work for long hours, by which they can earn a better livelyhood for them and their family as well, but this is not possible in the case of elderly people. Considering this all, having more younger people in the society have their own advantages.

Apart from this, most younger individuals living in metro cities do not have enough time to take care of their children. They are mostly busy with their professional life, for which, their childrens lack behind the care they deserve. If such individuals have their parents living with them, this care will no longer be a barrier. Along with the love and nourishment, children can also spend their quality time with their grandparents. Also, older generation are much more responsible than the younger ones in terms of valuing relationships. So the main disadvantage of having only younger people in the society is, they will lack behind to know more about their family tree.

In conclusion, although the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, I believe having people of older generation in the society contributes equally. Also, people of different ages can maintain the society well, rather than having group of younger one only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the topic and give relevant points about young adults’ contribution to work and tax revenue, as well as grandparents’ role in childcare. However, the response does not clearly answer the key comparison: whether the advantages of a large young population outweigh its disadvantages. The introduction mentions disadvantages, but the body mainly presents advantages and then a benefit of having older people; the conclusion says both age groups contribute equally without directly weighing the situation. The point about children learning their family tree is also less persuasive as a central disadvantage. State your position explicitly and develop a balanced comparison, explaining the wider social or economic consequences of each side and supporting them with specific examples. The response meets the stated length requirement; 13 words copied from the prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly group related ideas. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Along with this,” and “In conclusion” help signal movement between points. However, progression is not consistently clear: the second body paragraph shifts from the disadvantages of a young population to the benefits of older relatives, without explicitly connecting this to the essay’s comparison. The conclusion also introduces the idea that different ages maintain society well rather than resolving the argument developed in the body. Some transitions, including repeated “Along with this” and “Also,” feel mechanical. Use clearer topic sentences and refer back to the question’s advantages-versus-disadvantages comparison throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “overall development,” “professional life,” “relationships,” and “grandparents,” which makes the main subject clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “To commence with.” However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “younger,” “people,” and “society,” and several choices or collocations are inaccurate: “better livelyhood,” “children lack behind the care,” and “valuing relationships” do not express the intended meanings naturally. Spelling errors such as “livelyhood” and “childrens” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of terms for demographic and economic effects, and check whether phrases sound natural in context; for example, use “earn a better living” and “children miss out on the care they need.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “While,” “which,” and “although.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors occur frequently in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “the population of younger generation are” has a number and article problem, while “younger individuals … contribute” is followed elsewhere by “younger individuals … have.” In “which is further use by the government,” the verb form is incorrect, and “having less people … have it’s own disadvantages” contains several grammatical problems. Review subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms, and proofread each sentence for a complete, correctly formed clause. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to follow.

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