Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays,the number of young adults in some countries is fairly high as compared to number of senior citizens.Although, old people are very important as their wisdom level is slightly higher, I believe the benefits outweighs the drawbacks.

One of the reasons why it is beneficial to have more young adults than old people is that most young adults are at their prime age and they are still working. They still have energy and they are very productive. This helps to boost the economy of a country there by contributing to the development.Additionally, most young adults have an active job while most of senior citizen are at their retirement stage.

Most of the times, health of senior citizens is compromised and they usually need medical treatment and special care which may place financial burden on the already compromised economy.Government may need to invest more on the health of this group of people.Having them in large number will translate to putting a huge amount of money in procurement of medication for non-communicable diseases like hypertention and diabetes which is more common in older people.

In contrast, senior citizens are believed to have more wisdom than young adults. This can be used to solve complicated matters. Young adults will need senior citizens for counselling and guidance. For instance, most of the village courts in Malawi, are managed by senior citizens. This is so due to their skill in conflict management and bringing sanity at a community. Having them in less numbers may lead to insanity..

In conclusion, I believe the benefits outweighs the drawbacks because older people puts financial burden on the nation budget while young adults contributes to the economy of a country.Nethertheless, we still need old people to bring sanity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction—“the benefits outweighs the drawbacks”—and is maintained in the conclusion. You address both sides: young adults’ contribution to the economy and the value of older people’s wisdom, with the Malawi village-court example giving the latter point useful context. The discussion is relevant, but some ideas are more fully explained than others. The economic benefit is asserted rather than supported with a specific example, while the claim that older people create a financial burden focuses mainly on healthcare and could acknowledge their contributions or distinguish between countries. To strengthen the response, develop each main point with a clearer explanation and a concrete example, and make the comparison behind your overall judgement more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the economic and healthcare arguments, a contrasting paragraph about older people’s wisdom, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Additionally,” “In contrast,” and “For instance” help readers follow the main progression. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “Although” at the start of the introduction does not connect smoothly to the main clause, and the final sentence of the village-court paragraph—“Having them in less numbers may lead to insanity”—does not clearly explain the consequence. Paragraphs would be more cohesive if each developed one central claim through explanation and evidence, with references such as “this group” or “them” made more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “prime age,” “productive,” “financial burden,” “procurement,” and “conflict management.” These choices show an attempt to use language beyond basic everyday terms. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “wisdom level” would be better expressed as “wisdom” or “experience,” and “bringing sanity at a community” does not convey the intended idea naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “hypertention” and “Nethertheless.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully; more precise phrasing will make your arguments clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although, old people are very important…” and a relative clause in “which may place financial burden…”. The main ideas remain understandable, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “the benefits outweighs” should be “the benefits outweigh,” while “most of senior citizen are” needs “most senior citizens are.” In the conclusion, “older people puts” and “young adults contributes” also require plural verbs. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, and the opening “Although” clause is not correctly joined to the main sentence. Review subject–verb agreement and article use, then proofread sentence boundaries and punctuation.

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