Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, the population of young adults has increased in comparison to that of older adults in many parts of the world. There are several advantages to this large number, including independence and contributions to the workforce. There are also disadvantages, as older people are the actual assets of society. Technically the

advantages outweigh disadvantages in a number of ways.

Firstly, the most important advantage of having younger, mature individuals is that they are not dependent on anyone. They don't rely on others to do their work. For instance, countries like Germany and the USA have the largest share of people who are early adults, and they contribute to the economy as well. of having more old. The biggest disadvantage is that they need someone to do their work. They depend on someone, as they can't do their daily chores alone. Plus, the government has to pay pensions to them, although morally it is not good to criticize older people, as they once contributed to making our society. Research shows that countries having a bigger number of old people are suffering from economic imbalance.

There are also some disadvantages of having fewer old people. They have experience which can be used in many aspects of life. Some studies show that countries with more older people suffer less from depression. There is also evidence that they can fix the morals of society. These are the facts, but they can't deny the numbers that clarify that a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people, have a larger advantage.

In conclusion, the older people are the best part of our culture, but they can't help in the growth of the country, so the advantage of healthy mature people are more. t

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a position that the benefits of a younger population outweigh the drawbacks, and you mention relevant points on both sides: workforce and economic contributions, pension costs, and older people’s experience. However, the position is not consistently explained: the opening calls older people “the actual assets of society,” while the conclusion says they “can’t help in the growth of the country.” Several claims, such as younger adults being independent and older populations suffering less from depression, are asserted without clear explanation or convincing support. The comparison between advantages and disadvantages also remains broad. To strengthen the response, explain how a larger working-age population benefits society and weigh this directly against the value and costs of an ageing population.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Plus,” and “In conclusion” help identify some stages of the argument. However, progression is difficult to follow because ideas shift abruptly and the comparison is not organised clearly. The fragment “of having more old” interrupts the first body paragraph, while the discussion of fewer older people appears later without a clear link to the earlier points. Some connections are also unclear, as in “These are the facts, but they can't deny the numbers.” Use one paragraph to develop the advantages and another to develop the disadvantages, then compare them explicitly. Clearer referencing and more precise links between claims would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “workforce,” “economy,” “pensions,” “economic imbalance,” and “experience,” so the reader can identify the main subject. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or awkward, which sometimes makes the intended meaning unclear. For example, “early adults” is not a natural way to describe the working-age population, and “the actual assets of society” does not clearly express the value of older people. “Fix the morals of society” is also an unsuitable collocation for the idea of passing on values. Aim for more precise phrases and avoid repeating “advantage,” “disadvantage,” and “people.” The suggestions below offer alternatives that fit this topic more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “as” and “although,” and some sentences communicate their meaning clearly. However, errors are frequent, and some sentence structures are incomplete or difficult to interpret. The fragment “of having more old” has no complete grammatical structure, and “the advantage of healthy mature people are more” has a subject–verb agreement problem. In “There are also some disadvantages of having fewer old people,” the following pronoun “They” has an unclear reference. Punctuation and sentence boundaries also need attention, particularly around “Technically the” and the abrupt transition after “economy as well.” Practise complete sentences, agreement, and clear pronoun references.

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