Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In present the proportion of young adults are higher than the old people.In my opinion advantages outweigh the disadvantages, because a young population provides a strong workforce and drives economic growth.

Youngsters are naturally adaptive to new trends, technologies.There is a sense of curiosity in them to discover new things so they can be own unique identy in a society.Young adult's population leads to economic growth, and higher productivity. They adapt to new technologies on a very fast pace bringing innvoation in this modern world. As compared to the elderly depedants whose responsibility falls on government increasing then healthcares costs and pensions.

Other reason include physical energy and resilence in young residents. And mostly young people have the ability to adapt to changes helping their countries to keep pace with the global trends. With outweighing the proprtion of old people youngsters might face several problems of unmployment, less experience . pressure on government to spent a big amount on education sector. And jobless young people might turn into crimainals.

In conclusion, although a large young population can lead to unemployment and pressure on public services, I believe that the benefits are greater. A young workforce boosts productivity, encourages innovation, and reduces the burden on the government, provided that the authorities invest in education and job creation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you identify relevant benefits such as a stronger workforce, productivity and innovation. You also acknowledge drawbacks, including unemployment and pressure on education services, so both sides of the question are addressed. However, several points are asserted rather than explained. For example, the claim that young people create a “unique identity” is not clearly connected to the comparison, and the point about older people’s healthcare and pension costs needs more careful support. The response also contains 216 words, below the required 250, which limits the space available to develop examples and reasoning. Extend each main point with a specific explanation or example and make the comparison between benefits and costs more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present benefits and drawbacks, and the conclusion restates your position. This gives the reader a basic route through the argument. However, progression within the body paragraphs is uneven. The second paragraph moves from adaptability to identity, productivity, technology and government costs without clearly showing how each point connects. The phrase “Other reason include” signals a new point, but the following sentences combine benefits and disadvantages, making the paragraph’s focus less clear. Some linking is also mechanical, particularly repeated use of “And” and “With.” Group related ideas into separate paragraphs, use clearer transitions, and ensure each sentence develops the paragraph’s central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “workforce,” “economic growth,” “productivity,” “innovation,” “unemployment” and “public services.” These choices help communicate the main argument, and you attempt less common expressions such as “keep pace with global trends.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow: “identy,” “innvoation,” “depedants,” “resilence” and “crimainals.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “on a very fast pace” and “spent a big amount.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and avoid vague phrases such as “new things” when a more precise term would express your point. Proofreading would make your vocabulary more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a conditional phrase in the conclusion (“provided that the authorities invest…”). These attempts show some range, but control is inconsistent. For example, “the proportion of young adults are higher” has subject–verb disagreement, while “Other reason include” has a number-agreement error. The fragment “And mostly young people have the ability…” is not smoothly connected to the surrounding ideas, and “With outweighing the proprtion…” is structurally unclear. Missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent punctuation also affect readability. Practise checking agreement, sentence boundaries and clause structure, then use a mix of shorter accurate sentences and carefully formed complex ones.

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