Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

At the current time, the populance of few countries includes a relatively numerous number of young adults, compared with the number of elderly people.

In my opinion, it is beneficial to have larger number of young people comparatively, as it can help in the economic growth of the country and at the same time can be challenging to the society.

On one hand, young individuals can provide a strong workforce. Additionally, they are energetic, productive and willing to learn new skills. Moreover, they can increase a country's economic output and at the same time contribute to the taxes system. Furthermore, young people are often adaptable to modern technology and can introduce new ideas, which can encourage innovative and enterpreneurship. A large working age can also support economic growth by the creation of new businesses and increasing consumers demand.

On the other hand, having a large young population can create several hurdles. The most significant disadavnatage is unemployment leading to poverty and social dissatisfaction. In addition, government should need to spend large amount of money on education, training, housing and healthcare to meet the needs of thegrowing population.

Despite these drawbacks, I firmly believe the advantages are greater. If governments invest in education, vocational training and job creation, young people can become the strength for the country. Their energy, skills and creativity can contribute to long-term economic progress.

In the concluding statement it is concluded that, although a large young population can create challenges, I strongly agree that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages when governments manage it effectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view: the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, particularly when governments invest in young people. Relevant points include a stronger workforce, tax contributions, innovation, unemployment, and public spending. However, some ideas are asserted rather than explained—for example, the link between young people and economic output, or how unemployment leads to social dissatisfaction, could be developed with a specific example. The conclusion repeats your position but adds little. The response is also two words below the required 250-word minimum; the nine words copied from the task prompt are not counted. Meeting the minimum and extending one or two key points would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, a response to the counterargument, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “Despite these drawbacks” make the progression easy to follow. However, the organisation is somewhat mechanical because several transitions are stacked within the advantages paragraph (“Additionally,” “Moreover,” and “Furthermore”). The final paragraph also repeats the position already stated in the preceding paragraph, while “In the concluding statement it is concluded” is an awkward signpost. Use fewer formulaic connectors and make each paragraph advance the argument, with clearer links between claims and their explanations.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “workforce,” “economic output,” “vocational training,” and “long-term economic progress.” These choices help communicate the main argument, and attempts at less common terms show some range. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “populance,” “enterpreneurship,” and “disadavnatage” are misspelled, while “a relatively numerous number” and “consumers demand” are unnatural combinations. “Strength for the country” is understandable but imprecise in this context. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations as complete phrases; this would make your vocabulary more accurate and natural without requiring more complicated words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “If governments invest in education… young people can become…” and a relative clause in “new ideas, which can encourage…”. Most meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “have larger number” needs an article, “government should need to spend” has an incorrect verb construction, and “a large working age” does not form a clear grammatical expression. The sentence beginning “In the concluding statement” also has an awkward passive construction and punctuation. Review articles, verb patterns, and sentence phrasing, then proofread for errors such as the missing space in “thegrowing.” More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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