Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Ever since the dwan of history, Nowadays,the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people has become a incresignily common.This development offers sevral advantages and it also have some Disadvantages.This essay will discuss the both side of this issue.

On the one hand, present time population of some counties Young adults very large insted of the Older people.First and foremost Pros is that many Young people are going to the out of countries for their master study

as well as they get a international level opportunity so they go to the other countries for better job. This is manily because many young audult can have good opportunity to get a master in the diffrent countery they can

archive a good job.To give classic example, Nowadays many people go to the abrod for their Higer education to get a high paying job.Moreover,

another crucial banefits is that many people adults people can learn new culture as well as new languages.

On the other hand, population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people has also some cons. The main drawback is that when many Audult go to Out of countries they rise their audult popluation in the other countries. This is mainly because many audult can take a settale in the other counrty. For Instance,large number of popluation can create the unemployement.

Furthermore,large population of Young people dose't create the massive progress of theri country economic. This is because effeact theri country economics.

TO put into nutshell,Population of surge number of Young audult can have benefit. as well as also cons But I bileve That Pros are more insted of the cons.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the question by presenting advantages and disadvantages and stating that the advantages are greater. However, the position is only briefly expressed, especially in the conclusion, and the reasons do not clearly establish why the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. The points about studying abroad, finding better jobs and learning languages are relevant, but their connection to a country having a larger young population is not explained. The disadvantage about unemployment is also unclear: it is not shown how young people moving abroad would cause unemployment, or where this would occur. Develop fewer ideas with specific explanations or examples, and compare their importance directly. The response meets the required length; 39 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an identifiable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the contrast between advantages and disadvantages is signposted with “On the one hand” and “On the other hand.” These features give the reader a basic structure. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because ideas are repeated or connected unclearly. For example, the discussion of studying abroad repeats the idea of getting a master’s degree and a good job without showing how one point leads to the next. “Furthermore” introduces an economic claim, but the explanation that follows is incomplete. Use a clearer topic sentence for each paragraph, organise supporting details in a logical sequence, and make references such as “they” and “this” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “international level opportunity,” “higher education,” “unemployment” and “economic progress.” However, the range is limited and several word choices, forms and spellings make the meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “rise their adult population in the other countries” and “massive progress of their country economic” are not natural or precise in this context. There are also frequent spelling errors, including “incresignily,” “diffrent” and “settale,” which reduce clarity. Build a reliable set of topic phrases and check spelling and collocations carefully. For instance, describe young people as “contributing to the workforce” or “supporting economic growth,” rather than relying on repeated references to “good opportunity.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the essay uses basic contrast structures to organise its points. However, sentence control is weak: many sentences contain errors in agreement, articles, verb forms or word order, and these sometimes make the intended meaning hard to follow. For example, “This development … has become a … common” does not form a complete, accurate construction, while “many Young people are going to the out of countries” has faulty sentence structure. The sentence beginning “Furthermore, large population…” also lacks a clear grammatical relationship between its clauses. Practise writing complete subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check singular and plural agreement, articles, and punctuation, especially where sentences run together.

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