Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often agrued that in some nations have a smaller elderly population compared with yongesters. While this trend has both advantages and disadvantages, I strongly believe that the benefits are more significant. This essay will examine both sides of the argument.

To begin with, there are several drawbacks associated with this issue. One major drawbacks is that, it requires a large number of available job opportunities. As a result, the job market would be more competitive, which can have deterimental impact on the career seekers such as freshers or recent graduates. Another disadvantage is, that society needs more educational facilities. This is often caused by an increasing number of students, especially when the educational infrastructure can not meet the higher requirements at the present time.

On the other hand, the advantages are more significant. One major merit is that, young people play a vital role in the productivity of companies in different sectors, which can positively affect the long-term economic growth of the country. In addition, a reduction in healthcare costs is the another positive point. If this situation continue, governments have much lower pressure on spending more funds on pension, and effective schemes for the elder genrations. For instance, younger people have relatively higher levels of physical health, as a rsult, they are less likely to use government healthcare financial support.

In conclusion, this issue can bring both merits as well as demerits. Although, I believe that its merits, such as positive impact on the country's economic growth and reduction of healthcare costs clearly outwieghs its drawbacks

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the benefits of a relatively young population outweigh the drawbacks, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both sides with relevant points, including competition for jobs and pressure on educational facilities, contrasted with productivity and lower public spending on healthcare and pensions. This covers the task well, but the support is uneven: the disadvantages are briefly stated, and the link between a younger population and reduced healthcare costs is asserted rather than fully explained. The example about younger people’s physical health helps, but a more specific illustration and fuller development of the job-market and education points would make the argument more convincing and complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on advantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the direction of the argument easy to follow. The ideas within each paragraph are generally ordered logically, and the conclusion reflects the position stated at the start. However, some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated “One major…” framing, and a few connections could be made more explicit. For example, the move from lower healthcare costs to pension spending combines related but distinct claims without explaining their relationship. More varied transitions and clearer links between claims and supporting explanations would strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “productivity,” “long-term economic growth,” “educational infrastructure,” and “healthcare costs.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some less common expressions are attempted. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision, such as “career seekers,” “the elder generations,” and “government healthcare financial support.” There are also spelling errors, including “agrued,” “deterimental,” and “outwieghs.” These do not prevent the reader from understanding the argument, but they make the writing less controlled. Aim for natural, accurate combinations and check spelling carefully, especially in key topic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If this situation continue…” and a relative clause in “young people, which can positively affect…” This shows some range, and the overall meaning remains clear. However, errors occur in agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “One major drawbacks is” has a singular–plural mismatch, “the another positive point” uses an incorrect article pattern, and “If this situation continue” needs a matching verb form. Commas also interrupt some clauses unnecessarily, as in “One major drawback is that, it requires…”. Greater control of these patterns, alongside more consistently accurate complex sentences, would improve grammatical accuracy.

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