Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, some countries are facing an increase in the propotion of young adults that elderly peopl. Although, this trend offers several benefits. I belive the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, because young people can contribute significantly to economic groeth and development of their counntry.

To commence with, young indivuiduals considerabely can have a better impact on the county's economical growth in many ways. To elaborate it, currently young people tend to have greater knowledge as compared to older people. This information can help them to work effectively for their work place and make better-informed decisions. As young people are more willing to adapt and learn new skills, it can help them to improve the country future. As a result, companies may experience a greater financial growth, it can also help to improve the economy of a country. Thus, it can be really helpfull for the country, as the individuals have the ability to develop innovative ideas, this can create a better opportunities for future generation.

Furthermore, a larger number of young adults can create pressure on jobs. More adults doing the same job can make a company to give a rise to their salary which can have a negative impact on the company's growth and may also effect the economy of country. For an instance, a greater demand of housing, health care and education can place an additional pressure on human resources. However, this issue can be solved, young adults are making new and effective planning for government to invest on education and generate employment opportunities.

In conclusion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantage, as the young people are more creative and productive. It help the goverment to open new career opportunities. So the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, and you identify relevant benefits such as young adults’ contribution to economic growth, adaptability and innovation. You also acknowledge a disadvantage through pressure on jobs and public services, so both sides of the question are addressed. However, the supporting ideas are often asserted rather than explained: for example, the claim that young people have “greater knowledge” than older people is broad, and the link between more workers and higher salaries is not made clear. The proposed solution involving government investment is also difficult to follow. Develop each main point with a specific explanation or example, and make the comparison between the advantages and disadvantages more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs and a conclusion. Connectors such as “Furthermore,” “However” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion. Nevertheless, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear because several claims are joined together without showing how one leads to the next. In the first body paragraph, economic growth, workplace decisions, innovation and future generations are all mentioned, but their relationships are not consistently explained. The sentence beginning “However, this issue can be solved” also shifts abruptly to a solution. Use clearer topic sentences, organise each paragraph around one central point, and make references such as “this issue” and “it” unambiguous.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “economic growth,” “adapt,” “innovative ideas” and “employment opportunities.” These choices show an effort to discuss economic and social effects rather than relying only on basic language. However, the range is limited by repeated general terms such as “help,” “better” and “growth,” while frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word forms reduce clarity. Examples include “propotion,” “groeth,” “counntry” and “considerabely.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “financial growth” for companies and “a better opportunities.” Build a bank of accurate topic-specific collocations, check spelling carefully, and choose more precise verbs and nouns to express each effect.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning “Although” and “As,” and you use some subordination to explain causes and results. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the argument difficult to follow. For example, “Although, this trend offers several benefits” is an incomplete clause, while “it can help them to improve the country future” has an unclear grammatical relationship. There are also problems with agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “It help the goverment” and the comma splice in “companies may experience a greater financial growth, it can also help.” Practise complete clause structures, subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

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