Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, in many countries have a higher proportion of young adults than elderly people. Although this situation can create certain challenges, I believe that its advantages outweigh the disadvantages because young people can contribute significantly to economic development.

The main advantages of having a large young population is that it can increase a country's workforce. Young adults are generally able to work for many years and contribute to different industries. As a result, businesses can grow and the government can collect more taxes. Furthermore, young people are often more willing to learn new skills and adopt modern technologies, which can improve productivity and encourage innovation.

On the other hand, a large young population can create some problems, particularly when job opportunities are limited. If governments and businesses cannot provide enough employment, many young adults may experience unemployment and financial difficulties. In addition, countries may need to invest heavily in schools, universities and vocational training to prepare young people for their future careers. However, these challenges can be reduced through effective education and employment policies.

In conclusion, although a high proportion of young people adults can put pressure on employment and education system, I believe the benefits are greater. with proper planning and sufficient job opportunities, young people can become a valuable asset to a country's economy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, chiefly because young adults support economic development. You address both sides and give relevant points about workforce growth, tax revenue, unemployment, and investment in education. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained; for example, the link between adopting technology and innovation could be illustrated or developed further, and the disadvantages receive less detail than the advantages. The response also falls short of the required minimum length, so there is limited space to extend your reasoning or include a specific example. Develop one or two points with explanation or a relevant real-world example to make the argument more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from your position to advantages, disadvantages, and a conclusion. The progression is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “On the other hand,” and “As a result” help show relationships between ideas. The contrast between benefits and challenges is particularly clear. To make the organisation more flexible and polished, connect claims more explicitly to their consequences and avoid relying mainly on familiar transition phrases. The conclusion also repeats the main position but could synthesise the comparison more precisely. Overall, the ideas are logically arranged and cohesive, with some scope to make links between sentences more natural and developed.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “workforce,” “economic development,” “productivity,” “innovation,” and “vocational training.” These choices communicate the main ideas clearly, and phrases such as “financial difficulties” and “employment policies” suit the discussion. Some wording is repetitive or imprecise, however: “young people” and “young adults” recur frequently, while “young people adults” in the conclusion is an awkward combination. “A high proportion” is more natural than “a higher proportion” in this context, and “valuable asset” is a familiar but broad description. Greater variety and more precise collocations would add flexibility and polish without making the argument harder to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If governments and businesses cannot provide enough employment…” and a concession introduced by “Although.” Most sentences are understandable, and errors do not prevent the reader from following your argument. Some grammatical and punctuation slips remain. The opening “Nowadays, in many countries have…” lacks a subject, and “The main advantages … is” has a subject–verb agreement error. In the conclusion, “young people adults” and “employment and education system” show problems with noun phrasing and number; the sentence beginning “with proper planning” also needs a capital letter. Proofread for complete clauses, agreement, articles, and sentence-initial capitalisation.

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