Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is argued that population of some countries have a huge amount of young adults in contrast of older people.

In my point of view the youngsters may have much strength and stamena to build up their future and to brighten up the country name too.

firstly, there are a significant proportion of population of the adults, that's the beneficial for the country too. the older generation have not enough energy to do some hard work for the country and for their children, their family too. The young generation do anything what they want in their life. Achieve their goal, fulfill their dreams too, if they did the struggle then no matter what problem is their to gain what you want you face all the disasters in your life.

secondly, there are disadvantages too, the older people have much energy and potential too as compare to the young generation due to the quality of food. the previous generation taken the healthy food, did the much hard work , made the difficult situations much easy for the young generation.

To conclude this, it is definitely true that the advantages of the situation outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear overall view in the conclusion, stating that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and you mention both sides of the situation. However, the position is not consistently explained: the opening refers to young people’s strength and their ability to build the country, while the body gives little specific explanation of how a larger young population benefits society. The disadvantage paragraph is also unclear and appears to argue that older people have greater energy and potential, without explaining the wider consequences of having fewer older people. The response is 56 words below the required minimum, which leaves the ideas notably under-developed. To improve, explain each main point with a relevant example and make the comparison between advantages and disadvantages explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: an introduction, two body sections signalled by “firstly” and “secondly”, and a concluding sentence. This helps the reader identify the intended structure. However, progression within the paragraphs is weak. For example, the first body section moves from older people’s energy to young people achieving their dreams, without clearly connecting these points to national benefits. The second section introduces a disadvantage but does not develop its consequences. Linking phrases such as “firstly” and “to conclude” are used, but relationships between ideas are often unclear, and the conclusion simply repeats the position. Organise each paragraph around one central claim, then explain it and provide an example; use referencing and transitions to show how each sentence supports that claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “population”, “older generation”, “potential”, “beneficial” and “advantages outweigh the disadvantages”. These choices show an effort to discuss demographic effects. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “a huge amount of young adults”, “brighten up the country name” and “the previous generation taken the healthy food”. Spelling errors such as “stamena” also reduce clarity. Repetition of “young generation” and “older people” further limits flexibility. Aim for precise collocations and a wider set of terms for employment, productivity, public services and dependency. For instance, describe a “large proportion of young adults” and explain how they may “contribute to economic growth” rather than relying on broad claims about strength.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You use some simple sentences and attempt longer structures, including conditional phrasing in “if they did the struggle then no matter what problem is their…”. However, the longer constructions are often difficult to follow, and frequent errors affect accuracy. Examples include “population … have” instead of subject–verb agreement, “the older generation have” and “the previous generation taken”, which lack appropriate verb forms. Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “firstly, there are a significant proportion” and the long sequence beginning “The young generation do anything”. Most sentences rely on basic patterns, so the range remains limited. Practise accurate present-tense statements and past-tense forms, and divide long ideas into complete sentences. Then add controlled complex sentences using “because”, “while” or “although”.

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