Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is true that a country needs young adults for its development.Young people are considered as backbone of a country. I think having more youngs is more beneficial than having less youngs. Though it may have some demerits .More youngs mean more competition for jobs.

A country is mostly run by young adults ,as older people can't perform most of jobs effectively.We have many examples all around us that many countries are suffering because they lack young people.Japan is one of the best examples for it.It is fourth largest economy in world ,yet it faces major problem of ageing population.Japan has one of the largest industries and companies in world ,but it lacks Young people that can operate and work in these industries and companies.Europe is also facing major problem if ageing population . Germany alone needs more than 5 million young people that can help it to run it's economy.Germany is 3rd largest economy in world and first in Europe but due to lack of adults it faces major drawbacks in many fields.

More adults is a also for 3rd world countries such as Bangladesh, Pakistan and India.More adult population means more jobs needed which poor counties cannot provide it's people .It contributes to poverty in these countries.India is fifth largest economy in world ,but poverty in India is high because of its massive population.

In conclusion ,Some counties needs young adults because of their increased ageing population. Having more adults is more beneficial than having less adults.We should learn from those countries which has maintained the population of olds and youngs such as Switzerland,USA,Canada etc

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear view that a larger young-adult population is beneficial, and you address both sides by noting job competition and the pressure that population growth can place on poorer countries. The examples of Japan and Germany support the concern about ageing populations, while India illustrates a possible disadvantage. However, the comparison is not fully developed: the discussion of job competition does not explain how it weighs against the benefits, and the final reference to countries that have “maintained” a balance is not explained. Some claims, such as the link between India’s poverty and its population, also need more careful support. Develop the reasoning behind your judgement and make the outweighing comparison explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, separate discussion of benefits and disadvantages, and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. However, progression within and between paragraphs is not consistently clear. The first paragraph moves quickly from the value of young people to job competition, while the next groups several country examples without clearly linking each one to the central comparison. Connectors such as “Though” and “In conclusion” help signal relationships, but some transitions feel abrupt, and repeated references to “young adults” and “countries” make the flow repetitive. Use topic sentences to state each paragraph’s main point, then explain how each example supports it and leads back to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “ageing population,” “industries,” “poverty,” and “economy,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or awkward, sometimes making the intended meaning less clear. Examples include “more youngs,” “more adult population,” and “maintained the population of olds and youngs”; these are not natural ways to describe age groups or demographic balance. There are also spelling and word-choice slips such as “counties” for “countries” and “drawbacks” where a more precise term would help. Build a wider set of accurate phrases for population structure, employment, and economic effects, and check collocations before using them.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “Though” and clauses explaining the effects of population change. However, control is uneven, and errors in sentence boundaries, articles, agreement, and possessives recur. For example, “Though it may have some demerits” is a fragment, while “A country is mostly run by young adults, as older people can't perform most of jobs” needs more accurate article use. In “Germany alone needs more than 5 million young people that can help it to run it's economy,” the relative clause and possessive form are not controlled. Improve accuracy by checking each sentence for a complete main clause, correct subject–verb agreement, and appropriate articles and possessives.

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