Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

At this glance of time, the population of younger adults are relatively higher compared with the number of older people in some countries. We will be discussing further the advantages and disadvantages of both the situation and will discuss how advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Firstly, The risk of unemployment as the strenght of younger ones are getting more and more so it is supposed to have more opputunity or else there would be market crash. Secondly, lack of resources there are limited resources like education. perhaps the strongest reason is that the younger ones will be more in the market at all the places and there would be lesser one with experinece to guide the new one.

On the other hand, firslty the advantages of younger ones is that there would be more creativity on the way of accomplishing the work. Secondly, the working culture is more full of younger ones with more health environmnet to work. Perhaps the strongest reason is that the younger ones are more understanding and full of skills which will help for more advancement and ability to survive in dynamic environmnet. The advantages are relatively more as compared to diadvantages.

To conclude with the younger ones are relatively more fruitfull as comapred to older ones. Investing on the younger ones will help organisation to generate more profit for long term. The investment on the training and development on the younger adults help to boost the skills and retain the employees for the longer dusration. Nowadays the strength of the young of employees are high due to higher productivity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the question by discussing disadvantages and advantages and stating that the advantages are greater. The points about creativity, skills and productivity are relevant, as is the concern that fewer older people may mean less experienced guidance. However, the position is not consistently clear: the opening promises to explain how advantages outweigh disadvantages, but the first body paragraph presents disadvantages without explaining their significance or comparing them with the benefits. Several claims, such as limited educational resources and a possible “market crash,” are asserted rather than explained or supported with an example. Develop fewer points more fully, show how they affect society, and make the comparison that supports your conclusion explicit throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand” and “To conclude” help identify the sections. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear. The first body paragraph moves from unemployment to resources and then to a shortage of experienced guides without explaining the links between them. The second lists benefits but does not develop them in a clear sequence. Some linking phrases are repetitive or do not accurately signal the relationship between ideas. Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it, and add a relevant example; use transitions to show contrast or consequence rather than simply to announce the next point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “unemployment,” “resources,” “creativity,” “skills,” “training and development” and “productivity.” This gives you a basic range for discussing population and employment. However, vocabulary is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to interpret, such as “strenght,” “oppurtunity,” “experinece” and “fruitfull.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “health environmnet to work” and “strength of the young of employees.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for the effects of a youthful population would help you explain your ideas clearly, rather than relying repeatedly on “younger ones.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the response is generally recognisable despite grammatical problems. However, complex attempts are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “the population of younger adults are relatively higher” has a subject–verb agreement problem and an awkward comparison, while “the advantages of younger ones is” also has disagreement. The opening sentence of the first body paragraph is a fragment, and “the younger adults help to boost” does not maintain consistent subject–verb agreement. Work on complete sentence structure, singular and plural agreement, articles, and punctuation. Build accuracy in shorter sentences before combining ideas with clauses.

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