Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, some developed nations are facing more and more younger generation people rather than high-age people. These situation has both advantages as well as disadvantages but it is clear from my perspective that merits definitely outweigh the demerits.
To commence with, there are several advantages are there for countries, which has large number of young adults people. young people are healthy and capable to move anywhere they want therefore, it directly impact on the production and profit margin in industries and any other sector like research. As consequently, economy of nation can move forward significantly. Furthermore, more younger force means, country contains immence amount of arm-force and it leads to get more protection to the nation. Young adult can also important to make innovation and can more participate in anti-nation activity and responsible to coordinate with each other.
On the contrary, older people are also plays an indispensable role in human life because, they are the roots of culture and tradition so they are responsible to maintain peacefull environment in country, without them younger will contend easliy with each other even in short matter, so experienced person can make huge impact. In addition, nation can not gain that much knowledge from older people because of low numbers in the country and also reduction in new discoveries that almost done by older people with their experienced mind.
In conclusion, it is clear that advantages are more than disadvantages but also exprience people are more impactfull than any theories so optimum numbers of people in both categories should have in society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both sides of the question and state a clear view in the introduction: “merits definitely outweigh the demerits.” The discussion of young adults’ contribution to production and the economy is relevant, and you also recognise older people’s cultural and social value. However, some points are not fully explained or are unclear. For example, the claim that a larger young population provides “more protection” needs a clearer link to the question, while the point about older people and “new discoveries” is difficult to follow and seems to conflict with your earlier emphasis on young people’s innovation. Develop each main reason with a specific explanation or example, and make the comparison between the advantages and disadvantages more explicit in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This gives the reader an overall route through your argument, and linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “On the contrary,” and “In conclusion” help signal stages. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear, and ideas within paragraphs do not always progress smoothly. The sentence about young adults being important “to make innovation” and participating in “anti-nation activity” is hard to connect to the preceding points. The final sentence also introduces an ideal balance without clearly relating it to your claim that advantages outweigh disadvantages. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting point directly to the paragraph’s main idea.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “production,” “profit margin,” “innovation,” “culture and tradition,” and “indispensable.” This shows an effort to discuss economic and social effects rather than relying only on basic terms. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make meaning difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “high-age people,” “younger force,” “arm-force,” and “anti-nation activity” are not natural or precise in this context; “experienced mind” is also awkward. Spelling errors such as “immence,” “peacefull,” and “exprience” further reduce control. Build a reliable set of natural phrases for describing age groups and their contributions, and check spelling and word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You use both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “therefore,” and “without them.” This allows you to express causes and contrasts, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation remain. For instance, “These situation has” has a number-agreement error, and “there are several advantages are there” contains an unnecessary repeated verb structure. In “older people are also plays,” the verb form is incorrect, while several long sentences join ideas without clear punctuation. Aim for accurate basic sentence patterns first, then use complex clauses selectively; proofreading for agreement and sentence boundaries will make your argument easier to follow.
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