Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

at the present the the population of young individuals are greater then the elderly people in number of countries also Pakistan is one of them around 60 percent of the population living in the country are young adults having age group around 20 to 25 years old.

so there are number of prons of having yong adults in a country also several examples can quoted regarding this.

the pupils having age group between 20 to 25 years are more skilled and educated and the government utilise this factor as postive point when it comes to the GDP

the young adults are more skilled in practical experience and the technology as well nowadays individuals are also considered as Generation Z which means the active and skilled in technology.

secondly government spends less funds in the department of health as compare to the people having older age group.

the utilization of this resource can impact on several pillars of a country which includes judiciary, parliament and media

these pillars play vital role.

furthermore it is quite essential for the country to have young adults to defend the country 's sovereignty of needed in the situation of wars.

on other hands the elder people can advocate the critical issues on foreign issue based on their expertise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify several possible benefits of a youthful population, including skills, technology, economic contribution and national defence, and briefly mention a possible contribution from older people. However, the response does not clearly answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: the final point about older people is not explained as a disadvantage, and there is no explicit overall judgement. Most ideas are asserted rather than supported; for example, the claim that young adults help GDP and the point about spending less on healthcare need explanation or a relevant example. The response is also 37 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to develop the argument. State your position clearly and explain both sides with specific reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise ideas, with benefits introduced first and a contrasting point signalled by “on other hands.” Connectors such as “secondly” and “furthermore” also show an effort to guide the reader. However, ideas are not arranged into clear, developed paragraphs, and the progression is difficult to follow: the discussion moves from education and technology to healthcare, national institutions, defence, and then older people without explaining the links. Some sentences are fragments, such as “these pillars play vital role,” while the opening combines several ideas in one run-on sentence. Use a clear introduction, separate body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your judgement. Make each paragraph develop one main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “GDP,” “technology,” “sovereignty,” “expertise,” and “Generation Z,” which helps communicate the general subject. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “play vital role” and “defend the country’s sovereignty.” However, vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise, and several word choices or spellings make the message less clear, including “prons,” “pupils” for adults, “postive,” and “foreign issue.” Some combinations are unnatural, such as “more skilled in practical experience.” Aim for accurate collocations and use a wider range of terms for the population and its economic effects. Proofread spelling and choose words that precisely express your intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a few longer structures, including “when it comes to the GDP” and “which includes judiciary, parliament and media,” but most sentences rely on simple patterns, and longer attempts are often difficult to control. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “the population … are greater” and “the government utilise,” while the opening has unclear sentence boundaries and punctuation. Articles and plural forms are also frequently missing, as in “in number of countries” and “play vital role.” These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas hard to understand. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check agreement, articles, plurals, and full stops when editing.

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