Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

These days, in some countries their young population is more than their older population and there is a noticeable difference between these numbers. In my opinion,there are extra benefits of having more young population than the disadvantages.

To begin with, there are clear benefits of having more youth the economy of the country would increase gradually. It is a positive point for business because the availbility of labour and due to the high number of workers it would be cheap as compared to those nations where the number of workers are low. It would attract foriegn investers and due to this the GDP of country would rise. There is an example in fornt of us China,it is the world largest economy due its cheap labour and almost every company manufactures their items in china.

On the other hand, a larger youthful population can also present severe economic and social challenges. The primary disadvantage is high youth unemployment, which occurs when a country's job market fails to expand at the same pace as its growing workforce. Consequently, fierce competition for limited job opportunities can lead to economic instability, rising crime rates, and social unrest. Furthermore, providing adequate higher education, technical training, and infrastructure for a vast young demographic places an immense financial burden on the government.

On the other hand, a larger youthful population can also present severe economic and social challenges. The primary disadvantage is high youth unemployment, which occurs when a country's job market fails to expand at the same pace as its growing workforce. Consequently, fierce competition for limited job opportunities can lead to economic instability, rising crime rates, and social unrest. Furthermore, providing adequate higher education, technical training, and infrastructure for a vast young demographic places an immense financial burden on the government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear view that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, and you address both sides with relevant points. The economic case is supported by the link between a large workforce, lower labour costs, foreign investment and GDP, with China offered as an example. You also identify plausible disadvantages, including unemployment, social unrest and pressure on public services. However, the response does not fully develop the comparison needed to establish why the advantages outweigh these costs. The benefits paragraph is brief and makes broad claims, while the disadvantages are repeated verbatim, leaving no further development or conclusion. Explain how the benefits could be sustained and directly weigh them against the risks to make your position more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction followed by a benefits paragraph and a discussion of disadvantages, so the reader can identify its broad structure. Some linking expressions, such as “To begin with,” “Consequently,” and “Furthermore,” help connect points within paragraphs. However, progression is weakened by repeating the entire disadvantages paragraph word for word. The two consecutive “On the other hand” transitions are also confusing, and there is no concluding paragraph to bring the comparison together. In addition, the benefits paragraph joins several ideas in a long, poorly controlled sentence, making the relationship between labour availability, low costs and investment less clear. Avoid duplication, use transitions to show the actual relationship between ideas, and finish with a concise conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “foreign investment,” “GDP,” “youth unemployment,” “economic instability,” and “technical training.” These terms allow you to discuss both economic benefits and social pressures. However, the range is uneven, and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “more young population,” “attract foreign investors,” and “an example in front of us.” Spelling errors in “availability,” “foreign,” “investors,” and “front” are noticeable and reduce the accuracy of the writing. Aim for more natural phrasing and check spelling carefully. For example, describe a “larger proportion of young people,” say that low labour costs “attract foreign investment,” and introduce China as a relevant example rather than using a literal translation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “unemployment, which occurs when a country's job market fails to expand…” and a result clause beginning “Consequently.” These structures communicate the main ideas, but control is inconsistent. The opening sentence has an unclear construction (“in some countries their young population”), and “In my opinion,there” needs punctuation and spacing. The benefits paragraph contains a run-on structure: “there are clear benefits of having more youth the economy…”; separate the claim from its explanation and use a complete clause for each. Articles and possessives also need attention in phrases such as “the GDP of country” and “the world largest economy.” More accurate sentence boundaries and basic grammatical patterns would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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