Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

It is certainly true that population is a major problem in both developing and backward countries. In this regard that during this time, there are a large amount of population of young people in many countries rather than the olders. i believe it to be extremly beneficial, not only because of adults are more energetic and they have new ideas that can change the enviroments in a new style because they have new techniques. This essay will explore how these factors make tjis development positive one.

Firstly, the factors that compelled me to agree with this statement is new generation have a anergy to do something new because they have new ideas according to any situation that have to faced everyone. For intanse, young people adapt new technology quickly whereas old people consequently struggle with it.

Secondly, another reason that hardly push me to agree with this is new generation have considerable potential and develop new skills and contribue in society. For example, they learn new modern skills and after that they contribute in every difficult situations and solved the problems in a best way we should always support new generation and provide faccilities according modern techlonolgy than they can contribute the society in a better way.

To sum up, youngers can to do every thing if

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear preference for the advantages, especially in the claim that young adults are energetic, bring new ideas and adapt to technology quickly. These are relevant points, and the technology example gives one reason for your view. However, the response only partly addresses whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages: it does not explain any disadvantages or compare the two sides. The supporting ideas are also brief, and the conclusion, “youngers can to do every thing if”, is unfinished, so your final position is not fully reinforced. The response is 33 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop your reasoning. Explain the consequences of a youthful population and complete the comparison before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly”, and an attempted conclusion. This helps the reader identify your main position and the two supporting points. However, progression within paragraphs is not always clear. The second body paragraph combines skills, social contribution, problem-solving and a recommendation to provide facilities without showing how each point connects. Linking phrases such as “another reason” are repetitive, and “To sum up” introduces a conclusion that stops mid-sentence. Use one main idea per paragraph, explain it in a logical sequence, and use clear references and transitions to show how examples support your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “new technology”, “potential”, “skills” and “contribute in society”, which helps communicate your general argument. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making the intended meaning difficult to follow. For example, “backward countries” is an unsuitable description, “the olders” is not a natural term for older people, and “factors that hardly push me to agree” does not express your reasoning clearly. Spelling errors such as “extremly”, “intanse” and “facilities” in its misspelled form also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise vocabulary for population trends and use natural collocations when explaining social and economic effects.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to use both simple statements and longer clauses, including a sentence beginning “not only because” and a comparison using “whereas”. However, the range is very limited in practice, and frequent errors in sentence structure and basic grammar can make ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “there are a large amount of population”, “new generation have a anergy”, and “they contribute … and solved the problems”. The final sentence, “youngers can to do every thing if”, is incomplete and contains faulty verb forms. Practise subject–verb agreement, articles, plural forms and consistent verb patterns. Aim to write complete sentences with one clear grammatical structure before adding subordinate clauses.

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