Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent period, various part of the world is having more number of youths compared to elderly population. Although there are some disadvantages of having large younger proportion, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because of mentioned reason.

The first reason is the financial burden to the goverment. When the country have majority of younger population, goverment do not need to spend a lot in healthcare and insurance of elder people. The goverment spend large amount of budget in hospital, carehomes and providing pension to old people, which will be decreased if the number of youths are higher. Furthermore, the healthcare services will be easy to manage because younger individuals get less health problems as compared to elder. For instance, the United Kingdom spends large proportion of budget in NHS and care homes, each year.

Secondly, countries tax revenue will increase. When larger young group work, they pay more tax to the goverment which boost the countries economy. The nation can utilize small portion of budget in healthcare and pension, and majority can be used in developing countries infrastructures. For example, Italy goverment is promoting the population growth, as it will balance the tax revenue and expenditure of the country in future. Also, the younger group are more active in social media and aware of the development in other countries, which will increase the change of transparancy, development and make goverment more responsible.

To conclude, there are both benefits and drawbacks of having larger young adults in the country as compared to older people. I believe that the advantages are more significant and outweigh the disadvantages because younger population will help goverment with more tax and less financial burden in healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you argue that the benefits of a younger population outweigh the drawbacks, and both body paragraphs give relevant reasons—lower public spending on older people and higher tax revenue from workers. The examples of the UK’s NHS and Italy’s population policy help make the discussion concrete. However, the disadvantages are only acknowledged in the introduction and conclusion, rather than explained, so the comparison is not fully developed. Some claims also need qualification or clearer support: for example, a larger young population does not automatically mean more people are employed and paying tax. To strengthen the response, briefly explain a genuine drawback, such as pressure on jobs or education, and show why the benefits still outweigh it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two reason-based body paragraphs and a conclusion. Sequencing is easy to follow, and signposts such as “The first reason,” “Secondly” and “To conclude” make the progression explicit. This gives the essay coherent organisation, though the linking is somewhat mechanical. Connections within the paragraphs could also be clearer: the point about social media and government accountability appears after the tax-revenue argument without explaining how it supports the main comparison. Referencing in phrases such as “the mentioned reason” is not fully clear. Use more natural transitions and make each paragraph develop one connected line of reasoning, including a direct comparison with the disadvantages.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “financial burden,” “tax revenue,” “healthcare services” and “pension.” However, the range is limited by repeated general terms such as “government,” “young group” and “budget,” and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward. Examples include “more number of youths,” “carehomes,” “the change of transparancy” and “developing countries infrastructures.” Spelling errors such as “goverment” and “transparancy” are noticeable. These do not prevent the reader from understanding the argument, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Build a wider set of accurate phrases for population trends, public expenditure and employment, and check spelling and collocations when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concessive opening (“Although there are some disadvantages…”) and a conditional clause (“When the country have majority…”). The main meaning is generally understandable, but errors in agreement, articles and verb forms occur across the response. For example, “the country have” should be “the country has,” “government do not need” should be “the government does not need,” and “the younger group work” needs a clearer subject–verb construction. There are also problems with plural forms and sentence phrasing, as in “countries tax revenue.” Practise checking each sentence for its subject and verb, and use articles and possessives consistently. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex sentences clearer.

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