Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In several nations today,demographic trends indicate the significants higher proportion of young adults relative to elder citizens. While this youth-heavy demographic structure presents noticeable challenges regarding employment and social stability, I firmly believe that it is benefits in particularly in terms of ecnomics

On the one hand,the large youth population can poses serious social economic hurdles if a country lacks adequates infrastructures.The most significants concern is the challenge of jobs creations.When millions of young adults enter the workforce simoulteniously without sufficant employment opportinuties it can lead to high rate of youth enemplyment.

Furthermore,government must allocat substanial budgets towards higher education, job tranning programs,and affordable housing to support this burgeoning group.Without proactive governances a youth bulge can stress national resources and increase crime or emigration rate as frustrated young adults seek better prospects abroad.

In conclusion ,although a high concenntrationn of young adults can place pressure of job market and public servies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify relevant disadvantages, including pressure on employment, education, housing and public resources, and you state that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. However, the response does not fully address the question: the advantages are only briefly asserted in the opening, with no explanation or example to show why they outweigh the disadvantages. The conclusion is also incomplete and does not restate your position or summarise the comparison. The response is 151 words, below the required 250, so there is not enough development to support your argument. To improve, explain specific benefits—such as a larger workforce or a broader tax base—and compare them directly with the costs, using a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by a paragraph beginning “On the one hand,” and a concluding section. The ideas about employment and public spending are related and generally understandable. However, there is no developed paragraph presenting the advantages, so the argument does not progress through both sides of the question. The final sentence is unfinished, which leaves the conclusion without a clear ending. Linking is also limited and somewhat mechanical, relying mainly on “On the one hand” and “Furthermore.” Build a clear sequence with separate paragraphs for disadvantages and advantages, then use a complete conclusion that explicitly weighs them.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt some topic-specific vocabulary, including “demographic trends,” “workforce,” “youth unemployment,” “national resources” and “emigration.” These choices show an effort to discuss population and economic issues rather than relying only on basic words. However, frequent spelling and word-form errors make several phrases difficult to read, such as “significants,” “simoulteniously,” “opportinuties” and “concenntrationn.” Some collocations are also inaccurate, including “jobs creations” and “pressure of job market.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. For example, use “job creation,” “simultaneously,” “employment opportunities” and “pressure on the job market.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “When millions of young adults enter the workforce … it can lead to…” and a clause beginning “Without proactive…”. These attempts show some range, but control is inconsistent. Examples include “the large youth population can poses,” where the modal should be followed by the base verb, and “government must allocat,” where the subject needs an article or plural form. The opening sentence also lacks clear grammatical control, and the final sentence is incomplete. Punctuation and spacing around commas are inconsistent. Practise accurate subject–verb patterns, articles and complete sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence for a clear main clause.

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