Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, the population of many countries comparatively larger number of young people, compared with the number of older individulas. I strongly believe that the advantages of increasing population of young adults singificantly outweight the disadvantages.

On the one hand, growth in the youngster population offer substantial positivties in term of improving country economy. To elaborate further, when the number of young people have increased then they work in different organization or in government sector by which they must pay goverment tax from their salary. As a result the country economy is boost with help of younge people work. Furthermore, youngster are more elegant to initiate business to make more money for their family and sometime for welfares. For instance, enrepreneurs who invest in export and import business provide opportunities for other young people to work as well as government can also received a vast amount of taxt from them. Resultantly, they investor are often young individuals because they more more energetic and motivated about their final objecties.

On the other hand, there are some drawbacks that cannot be completely ignored, from the top of them is the increasing ratio of unemployment. To explain on it, when the population of young people increased then employement crisis increased and competition also rise in the local as well as in the international market. Moreover, when the number of individuals rapidly rise then resources is also limited to distribute across the nation. For example, in many under developed countries Pakistan, India and Nepal face neutrient problems due the increased population of civilians.

In conclusion, although larger number of young population can help in country economy in form of tax and improved business, while it also creates challenges such as unemployment, lack of resources, and high competition among youngster in jobs and personal growth. However, the advantages of increasing population of young people outweight the distadvantages in term of country economy and invest in business.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you believe the benefits of a large young-adult population outweigh the drawbacks, and you return to this view in the conclusion. You address both sides with relevant points, including tax contributions and business creation as benefits, and unemployment, competition, and pressure on resources as disadvantages. The examples of entrepreneurs and countries such as Pakistan, India, and Nepal help make the discussion concrete. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the link between a larger youth population and economic growth needs clearer reasoning, and the resource argument is not developed beyond a brief reference to nutrition. The response covers the task well overall, but fuller explanation and more precise support would strengthen it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your position. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “On the one hand,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader. At times, however, the links between ideas are mechanical or unclear. For instance, “Resultantly” introduces a point about investors without making the relationship to the preceding example fully clear, and the conclusion’s “although … while” construction makes the contrast awkward. Some sentences also combine several claims, so the progression within paragraphs is less smooth. Use clearer links between each claim and its explanation, and make references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-relevant vocabulary, including “unemployment,” “resources,” “competition,” “entrepreneurs,” and “government tax,” and this gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “substantial” and “international market.” However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “individulas,” “singificantly,” “outweight,” “positivties,” and “taxt” are examples. Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “the country economy is boost” and “elegant to initiate business.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than more ambitious wording, and proofread spelling and word forms. This would make your meaning more precise and easier to read.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at complex sentences, including clauses beginning “when,” “by which,” and “although.” This shows some range, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control of sentence structure and basic grammar is inconsistent. For example, “growth in the youngster population offer” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “when the number of young people have increased” uses an incorrect verb form. In “resources is also limited,” agreement is again inaccurate, and the final sentence’s “although … while” structure is not grammatically well formed. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check that each clause has a clear subject and verb.

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