Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, the young population of few countries is relatively very high as compared to elders. I believe this development comes with significant benefits which outweigh the disadvantages of having fewer number of elders in the country.

On the one hand, senior citizens are valuable asset of any nation. They hold life long experience of professional life and can better assist young generation. They can act as mentors, teach the skills they had learned and share their knowledge to adults. As a result, freshers can improve their personal and perfessional skills within a short period of time. Besides that, elders can also play a vital role in shapping the societies. In times when parents are so much focused on their careers and they don't have time to sit with the children and teach them social manners. In these cases, grandparents at home can educate the youngsters and they can potentially become good members of society.

However, I argue that it is the need of time to have higher number of young population in the country. As the world is evolving rapidly and countries are brigning best minds to compete and overtake other countries in development, having a high force of fresh minds can pave the way for economic revolution. As they have capabilities and essential skills which elder generation lacks, a country can become self resiliant and reduce dependence on other nations. For example, the innovations in Artificial Intelligence require advanced knowledge and studies which were not introduced in the previous era, therefore, the adults are the most suitable candidates for these roles.

In conclusion, although older people have significant importance because they can help and assist the new generation, the advantages of high population of adults outweigh them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you argue that a larger young-adult population brings greater benefits, and you acknowledge the value of older people before presenting your case. The discussion of economic development and newer skills is relevant, with the AI example helping to illustrate your point. This meets the task well, but the comparison is not fully developed: the opening refers to “fewer number of elders,” while the first body paragraph mainly explains what older people contribute rather than examining a disadvantage of having fewer of them. The claim that young people can make a country “self resiliant” also needs a clearer explanation or supporting example. Develop the consequences on both sides more evenly to make the weighing of advantages and disadvantages more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to the value of older people, then to the advantages of a younger population, and finally to a conclusion. Paragraphing supports this progression, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “However,” and “In conclusion” make the argument easy to follow. Some links are less effective or slightly mechanical, however. “However” introduces the main argument, but the preceding paragraph does not clearly establish a contrasting disadvantage; it describes benefits older people provide. The sentence beginning “In times when parents…” is also awkwardly connected to the preceding point, and “In these cases” has a somewhat loose reference. Make the contrast explicit and use clearer links between each claim and its explanation to strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “mentors,” “economic revolution,” “innovations,” and “Artificial Intelligence,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “self resiliant” and “pave the way,” though some choices are inaccurate or unnatural. Examples include “young population of few countries,” “higher number of young population,” and “freshers,” which is not a natural term for young adults in this context. Spelling errors such as “perfessional,” “shapping,” and “brigning” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise collocations and check spelling: for example, use “a large proportion of young adults,” “a larger young workforce,” and “recent graduates” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including clauses with “as,” “which,” and “although,” and the main ideas remain understandable. Some sentences are controlled, such as “As a result, freshers can improve their personal and perfessional skills within a short period of time.” However, there are some errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms. “In times when parents are so much focused…” is a fragment because it does not complete the thought, while “having higher number” needs an article and “a high force of fresh minds” is not grammatically well formed. The conclusion’s “the advantages … outweigh them” also uses an unclear pronoun reference. Practise complete sentence structures, articles with singular countable nouns, and clear pronoun references while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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