Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Now a days, certain countries have relatively large number of young population, compared with the number of older people. From my perspective. the advantages of this population trend can outweigh the disadvantages.

A large number of young adults can contribute to the economic growth of a country. If young population get the opportunity to gain specific skills and find the job accordingly, that can be useful for the entire nation. Every year. many young students complete graduation and enter into job market. Some may start their own businesses, which further open employment opportunities for others. In this way, entrepreneurship also plays an important role in the economic stability of a country. For instance, after graduation some of my batchmates joined in corporate jobs and some other friends started their own businesses, now they hire people in their companies.

While young adults can play an essential role in countries economic stability, it can be a big social issue if employment opportunities are unavailable. There should be sufficient scope in job sectors specially for fresh graduates to start their career. Unskilled graduates and limited job opportunities can increase unemployment rate of a country. For example, Bangladesh is an overpopulated country, having large number of young graduates it is suffering from unemployment issue for the limited job opportunities.

In my opinion, If there are enough jobs, young adults can be the contributor for the country also they will be able to take care of the older adults. However, if employment possibility become limited, then this population trend can create many social problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits can outweigh the drawbacks when employment is available. You address both sides, explaining how young adults may support economic growth through work and entrepreneurship, and how limited jobs can lead to unemployment. The examples about your friends and Bangladesh make the discussion relevant. However, the comparison of advantages and disadvantages is not fully developed: the benefits receive more explanation, while the conclusion mainly repeats the condition about jobs rather than weighing the two sides explicitly. The point that young adults can care for older people is also introduced only briefly. Develop this idea and explain more directly why the economic benefits outweigh, or do not outweigh, the social risks.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a concluding position. The progression from employment and business creation to unemployment is easy to follow, and linking phrases such as “For instance” and “However” help signal examples and contrast. Some connections are less smooth or precise, though. The opening of the third paragraph repeats the economic-stability point, and the final paragraph presents a conditional conclusion without clearly comparing the two sides. Punctuation also occasionally interrupts the flow, as in “From my perspective. the advantages…” and “Every year. many…”. Use complete sentence boundaries and make the conclusion synthesize the argument rather than restate it.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “entrepreneurship,” “employment opportunities,” and “unemployment,” which allows you to discuss the issue clearly. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “job sectors” and “economic stability.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, however: “large number of young population,” “joined in corporate jobs,” and “contributor for the country” do not sound natural in this context. “Job opportunities” and “young adults” are repeated frequently, limiting flexibility. Aim for more precise combinations, such as “a large proportion of the population is young,” “entered corporate employment,” and “contribute to national development.” These refinements would make your vocabulary more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if employment opportunities are unavailable” and a relative clause in “businesses, which further open employment opportunities.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include missing articles in “large number of young population” and “enter into job market,” subject–verb agreement in “young population get” and “possibility become,” and the awkward construction “having large number of young graduates it is suffering.” Sentence-boundary punctuation is also inconsistent, for example “From my perspective. the advantages…”. Review articles, agreement, and clause structure, and use commas or full stops to separate complete sentences. Greater accuracy across these patterns would strengthen the range you already attempt.

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