Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is commonly belived that in the population of a few nations, at the present time, the numbers of older indivisuals are less as compare to the young people. In this essay i will discuss whether the advantages of this situation outweight the disadvantages.

To began with the advanteges, firstly more younger people means more productivity and boosted economy. For example, younger people can work more

than older people which increase the income and make the finacial condition better. As compere to older people, younger induivisuals have good health which help them to do every kind of work and also for long time. Youngsters have more stamina then older people and they can earn more by doing multiple jobs. Secondly, young adults are reliable with technology. For example, adults studying on different feilds and gain knowledge about technology along with other businesses which help them to get good jobs and higher saleries. Older people do not know more about technology and face many problems when they try to operate technology related things. Additionally, older people also have many health issues and the treatment of that health issues take huge amout of money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the topic and give several relevant advantages, including productivity, economic growth, technology skills and lower health-related costs for society. However, the response addresses only one side of the question: it does not explain any disadvantages or clearly state whether the advantages outweigh them. The opening says you will discuss the issue, but the essay does not reach a conclusion or establish a consistent overall judgement. Supporting points are also brief; for instance, the claim that younger people can do “every kind of work” is broad and not illustrated with a specific example. The response is 58 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop both sides and answer the comparison fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure: an introduction is followed by a paragraph presenting advantages, and signposting such as “To begin with,” “Firstly,” “Secondly” and “Additionally” helps identify the points. However, there is no concluding paragraph, and the essay does not progress towards a clear answer to whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Several ideas are placed together without clear development, such as technology skills and older people’s health costs. Some links are mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated comparisons between younger and older people. To improve, organise the discussion into distinct paragraphs, use transitions that show contrast and consequence, and finish with a conclusion that directly answers the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “productivity,” “boosted economy,” “stamina,” “reliable with technology” and “health issues.” These choices make the main subject understandable, but the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, such as “belived,” “indivisuals,” “outweight,” “finacial” and “saleries.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural: “do every kind of work” and “operate technology related things” could be expressed more specifically. Repetition of “younger people” and “older people” further limits variety. Work on accurate spelling and natural collocations, and use more precise terms such as “working-age adults” or “digital skills” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use clauses to explain reasons, as in “younger people can work more than older people which increase the income.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to affect fluency. In that example, the relative clause needs a clearer link and the verb should agree with “which”; similarly, “good health which help them” has an agreement error. Other problems include “To began with,” “adults studying” and missing or inconsistent capitalisation of “I.” These issues do not prevent the reader from following the general points, but they make the writing less controlled. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms and sentence boundaries before adding more complex structures.

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