Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In most countries now a days the number of newly young adults are increasing compared to the number of older people. Though this situation has some bad influences, it can not outweigh its good impact.

On the one hand, in many terms young generation are far ahead than older people. Firstly, younger people are more energetic than older people. Their enthusiasm for work are high and also their strong life force support them to achieve their goal more easily than late aged people. For example , in construction job a younger person are more preferable than a older one, cause they are able to do highest amount of physical work. So having a large number of this people will increase efficiency. Secondly , younger people are more adapted to contemporary technology than older generation. With the help of this they can produce efficient result faster than previous generation.

On the other hand, unemployment issue may rise with the increasing number of young adult. Many newly adult stay unemployed due to lack of job, which over the time may create anarchy. Without creating more job opportunity its often difficult to tackle this issue. Though most company valued the experienced , many wants new talent in their workplace. Which makes older people to think about their job security.

In conclusion, a high number of young generation is not a disadvantage for a country because of their potentiality and understanding of current technology. Their involvement in economy bring better result more than the worst. So, I strongly believe the advantage of having a large younger generation outweigh its disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction—“it can not outweigh its good impact”—and is reaffirmed in the conclusion. You address both sides with relevant points: young adults may contribute energy and technological adaptability, while a larger youth population may increase unemployment and concern about older workers’ job security. These points answer the question, but they are not developed equally. The benefits are supported with a construction-work example, whereas the unemployment point is asserted without explaining its wider effects or giving a specific illustration. The claim that young people are “far ahead” of older people is also broad. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences of each point and make the comparison between advantages and disadvantages more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your view. “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow this organisation. Within the body paragraphs, however, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “With the help of this” does not specify exactly what “this” refers to, and the sentence beginning “Which makes older people…” is a fragment that weakens the link to the preceding idea. The conclusion also repeats the main position rather than drawing together the comparison. Use clearer referencing and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “enthusiasm,” “efficiency,” “contemporary technology,” “unemployed,” and “job security.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some topic-related expressions show an attempt to be precise. However, inaccurate word forms and collocations sometimes make the writing sound unnatural, as in “newly young adults,” “strong life force,” “highest amount of physical work,” and “their potentiality.” There are also spelling and spacing issues, such as “now a days” and “can not.” Aim for natural combinations and accurate forms rather than more elaborate wording; for instance, “young adults,” “physical stamina,” and “potential” would express your intended meanings more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex structures, including a concessive opening (“Though this situation has some bad influences…”) and a conditional phrase (“Without creating more job opportunity…”). The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction remain. Examples include “the number … are increasing,” “Their enthusiasm … are high,” and “a younger person are more preferable.” The sentence “Which makes older people to think about their job security” is also incomplete and has an incorrect verb pattern. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and article use, and make sure dependent clauses are attached to complete sentences. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentence attempts clearer.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.