Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowdays, many countries faced a problem of population some of them have large number of young peoples and on the other hand some have large number of old people. This difference in number has a impact on country's development.

Country who has number of young adults more than old people progress fast because young people work more efficiently than old people and also need small breaks for there recovery. There dedication toward work is more as compared to old peoples.

For example: One young adult and one old man working in a same place and both have to carry a 50 kg bag and move it to a second floor the young one move it fast and old one moves it very slow or he cannot even do that task.

Old people have far more experience than the young people they can solve problem more easily and efficiently because of there experience old people also teach young people how to work and how to perform the task.

For example: One old person and one young adult working in a transport company and they have to transport goods from one place to another by using truck old man know hoe to drive truck while young one donnot know how to do it he can not even drive but also teach young one how to do it.

In my opinion the advantage doesnot outweigh the disadvantage beacuse both are necessary for every country both are used for different scenarios and both have there own importance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question by comparing the contributions of younger and older people, and your final sentence gives a clear view that both groups are necessary. The examples about physical work and transport help illustrate your points. However, the response does not fully answer whether the advantages of having a relatively young population outweigh its disadvantages: it discusses the value of both age groups, but does not clearly identify the disadvantages of a larger young-adult population or weigh them against its benefits. The claim that young people help a country “progress fast” is also broad and needs explanation. Develop a direct comparison, such as employment and innovation benefits versus pressure on jobs, housing, or services, to make your position more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs about younger and older people, and a concluding opinion. The examples are placed near the ideas they illustrate, which helps the reader follow the general topic. However, the overall progression is limited because the body paragraphs compare age groups rather than building a clear argument about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Connections between ideas are often repetitive, especially the repeated use of “For example” and “also.” Some references are unclear, as in “both are used for different scenarios,” where “both” could refer to people or their contributions. Use topic sentences that directly address advantages and disadvantages, and link each paragraph back to your overall judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small range of relevant vocabulary, including “development,” “efficiently,” “experience,” and “dedication,” so the main ideas can generally be understood. However, vocabulary is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. Phrases such as “population of some of them,” “young peoples,” and “there recovery” make parts of the response less clear, while “progress fast” is imprecise for an academic argument. Spelling errors such as “Nowdays,” “beacuse,” and “donnot” are also noticeable. Build a more precise range for discussing demographic effects, and check spelling and word forms carefully. For example, use “young adults” rather than “young peoples,” and “economic growth” rather than “progress fast.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including explanations with “because” and examples joined by “while.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in basic structures make the response difficult to read in places. Examples include “Country who has number of young adults,” “young people work,” and “both are necessary,” where articles, agreement, or sentence construction need attention. There are also problems with verb forms and sentence boundaries, such as “the young one move it fast and old one moves it very slow.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and complete sentence patterns before adding more complexity. Shorter, correctly punctuated sentences would make your meaning clearer.

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