Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In the crunttely time, In the mostly countries the younger peoples more than as compared to the older persons. younger peoples are so active every stituation but older person are mostly unhealthy not working well.

firstly, In the now time many population in the world. Population are more effective in countries. Every countries depend upone the their population, In population are 2 types one is youngers and other is olders. If any one countrie population is more, if younger population work in different types fields then countrie worth most popular in the world. It depend on the population. For example: The countries worth develped up

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response makes a relevant start by noting that young people can work in different fields and may help a country develop. However, it does not answer the central question: there is no clear judgement about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the disadvantages are not discussed. The example beginning “The countries worth develped up” is unfinished, so it does not support the point. The response also falls substantially short of the required 250 words, leaving the argument and its supporting reasons very limited. To improve, state your position directly, explain both sides, and develop each main idea with a complete example or explanation.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: it opens with a general statement and then uses “firstly” to introduce a point about population and work. The ideas about young people contributing to different fields are relevant, but the progression is difficult to follow because several sentences repeat the general idea that population matters without adding a clear next step. The response ends abruptly, and there are no developed paragraphs for the opposing view or conclusion. Use separate paragraphs for your position, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion, and connect each point with clear references and linking phrases rather than repeating the same claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “population,” “young,” “older,” “work,” and “different types fields,” so the general topic can be recognised. However, vocabulary is often inaccurate or repetitive, and several spelling and word-form errors make the message harder to understand: “crunttely,” “stituation,” “countrie,” and “develped” are examples. Phrases such as “worth most popular” do not express the intended meaning clearly. Build a more precise range for discussing age groups, employment, and economic development, and check spelling and collocations. For example, use “young adults” and “contribute to economic growth” instead of repeatedly using “young peoples” and “work.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The writing relies mainly on short, simple statements, with a limited attempt to link ideas in a longer sentence, such as “If any one countrie population is more, if younger population work in different types fields then countrie worth most popular in the world.” This conditional structure is difficult to follow, and sentence boundaries and punctuation are inconsistent. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals, and subject–verb agreement, as in “younger peoples are” and “Population are.” These errors sometimes obscure the intended relationships between ideas. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses using “because,” “if,” and “although,” checking agreement and sentence punctuation.

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