Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the current genration, adults population has become increasingly common as compared to older people in some parts of the world. Although it offers several benefits, it also presents certain drawbacks. I belive that advantages outweigh disadvantages. This essay will disscuss both positives and negtives.

One of the most significant advantage of having largest proportion of adults is that they help to develop the country economy. This is because, people who are in their young age have more power and energy to do work without having frequent health issues like the pupil who are above half. So, by being active adults can do more work in different fields which helps to boost countries ecomomy.

Futhermore, they also create more employement oppurtunites . younger people have many skills and creative ideas, they often implement those thoughts to start new bussiness or company which need many workers to run smoothly. Due this, many proponents have chance to acquire those jobs in different fields. Therefore, students who remained unemployeed and finacially depent on thier parents can get an job to be independent.

Despite these benefits, having large number of young adults is not without its drawbacks. The main concern is that culture change. When younger pupils are in large quantity, then they have very less knowledge about the history and traditons

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position in the introduction: “advantages outweigh disadvantages,” and give relevant benefits, including economic contribution and employment opportunities. However, the response only partially addresses the task because the disadvantage is introduced but not explained or compared with the benefits: the final point about young people having less knowledge of history and traditions is unfinished. The benefits also need fuller support—for example, explain how a larger workforce could affect productivity or public finances, and provide a relevant example. The response is 218 words, below the required 250, which limits the development of your argument. Complete the discussion of disadvantages and make the comparison explicit in a conclusion to address all parts more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph developing advantages, and a paragraph beginning to discuss disadvantages. Linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Despite these benefits,” and “Therefore” help show relationships between ideas. However, the progression is incomplete because the final paragraph stops before the disadvantage is developed, and there is no concluding paragraph to bring the argument together. Some connections are also unclear, as in “Due this,” and the employment paragraph moves quickly from business creation to job opportunities without fully explaining the link. Develop each paragraph around a complete point, use clear referencing, and finish with a conclusion that restates your judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “develop the country economy,” “employement opportunities,” “creative ideas,” and “history and traditions.” These choices show an attempt to discuss economic and social effects. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or imprecise expressions make the writing less clear, such as “genration,” “disscuss,” “negtives,” and “finacially depent.” Some collocations are also unnatural, including “adults population,” “largest proportion of adults,” and “in large quantity.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “working-age population,” “economic growth,” and “cultural heritage” would help express your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a subordinate clause beginning “Although it offers several benefits” and a reason clause with “This is because.” Meaning is generally understandable, but errors in sentence structure and grammatical forms are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, “One of the most significant advantage” needs a plural noun, while “people who are in their young age have more power” has an awkward grammatical pattern. In “Due this,” the preposition is missing, and “can get an job” has an article error. There are also punctuation and capitalisation problems, such as the lower-case “younger” after a full stop. Practise accurate noun phrases, articles, and clause construction before adding more complex structures.

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