Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the current genration, adults population has become increasingly common as compared to older people in some parts of the world. Although it offers several benefits, it also presents certain drawbacks. I belive that advantages outweigh disadvantages. This essay will disscuss both positives and negtives.

One of the most significant advantage of having largest proportion of adults is that they help to develop the country economy. This is because, people who are in their young age have more power and energy to do work without having frequent health issues like the pupil who are above half. So, by being active adults can do more work in different fields which helps to boost countries ecomomy.

Futhermore, they also create more employement oppurtunites . younger people have many skills and creative ideas, they often implement those thoughts to start new bussiness or company which need many workers to run smoothly. Due this, many proponents have chance to acquire those jobs in different fields. Therefore, students who remained unemployeed and finacially depent on thier parents can get an job to be independent.

Despite these benefits, having large number of young adults is not without its drawbacks. The main concern is distrabances in the surroundings. Young age pupil are adpoted to new cultures they often prefer late nights to celebrate parties and make loud noises in resdential area, which create noise pollution as well as distrabes sleep of the people. Moreover, other problem is that sudden collapase in country growth. Young aged people have less experience in manage things realated to economy as comapared to the elder people. with that little knowledge people make decisions, this worse the situation and end up getting bad outputs and stops countries developmemt.

In conclusion, while experience presents a genuine challenge, I believe the advantages outweigh its drawbacks because it creates job for many individuals. With appropriate measures in place, its overall benefits can be maximised while its negative effects are reduced.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and state a clear view: “advantages outweigh disadvantages.” The economic contribution of young adults and their potential to create jobs are relevant reasons, while noise and limited experience provide contrasting drawbacks. This covers the task, but some points are more fully explained than others. The employment paragraph gives a chain of effects, whereas the claim that inexperienced young people may cause a “sudden collapse” in national growth is broad and not supported with a specific example or explanation of how their decisions would produce that outcome. The conclusion also introduces “appropriate measures” without identifying them. Develop this drawback more carefully and support the main claims with a concrete example to make the response more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a conclusion. The progression from economic contribution to job creation is logical, and signposts such as “Furthermore,” “Despite these benefits,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. This already shows some flexibility in organising ideas, but cohesion is not consistently smooth. For example, “Due this” does not clearly connect the preceding idea to the result, and “Moreover, other problem” introduces a point mechanically. Some references, such as “this” in “this worse the situation,” are unclear. Use more precise linking phrases and make the relationship between each claim and its consequence explicit; this would strengthen the progression beyond the current level.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “employement opportunities,” “noise pollution,” “financially dependent,” and “country growth,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range and control are limited by repeated basic wording and numerous spelling and word-choice errors, such as “genration,” “disscuss,” “negtives,” and “resdential.” Some combinations are also unnatural: “adults population,” “develop the country economy,” and “create more employement oppurtunites.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause, which is consistent with this level of lexical control. Build a bank of accurate collocations for population, employment, and economic development, and proofread spelling carefully. Aim for precise, natural phrases rather than adding ambitious vocabulary that you cannot yet control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “This is because” and a relative clause in “people who are in their young age.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main argument remains understandable. However, control is inconsistent: “One of the most significant advantage” has a number-agreement error, while “which create noise pollution” does not agree with its singular antecedent. There are also problems with articles and sentence boundaries, as in “get an job” and “with that little knowledge people make decisions,” where a comma is needed after the introductory phrase. Some longer sentences become difficult to follow because their clauses are not clearly controlled. Practise agreement, articles, and punctuation, and check each complex sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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