Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The number of young adults are significantly higher compared to the number of older people in some countries. On one hand, the younger generation has more physical energy and thinking capacity compared to older adults. It helps to develop the countries and reduce poverty among people. On the other hand, most young adults have aggrasive behaviors that course bad effects to the society. But compared to advantages, we can minimise the risk of disadvantages.

Firstly, the younger generation has more physical fitness than older adults. It helps to improve constructions and all the activities need physical energy. And also, it reduces the amount of hospitalisations per year. It is beneficial for the economic growth of the country. Additionaly, due to high thinking capacity of this young adults, the new innovations ocuur all the time. It helps to rapid growth of technology and economy all around the world. As an example, an article suggests that, the countries include more youngers have less usage of public hospital facilities. It causes to save significant amount of money in the health sector of those countries.

Secondly, there are some negative aspects as well. With the busy life young adults mainly focus on their carrier growth and income methords. They do not spend time to give a relief for their brain. So, it increases the stress level and sometimes it drive them to level of depression. So, most youngers behave aggrasively and it increases the criminal activities all around the world. As an example, in a research conducted within a prison, they found that most of the crimes happen due to unable to co-op with the stress.

In conclusion, there are both negative and positive aspects of the large number of young adults. But, the advantages are more than disadvantages. This helps positively to increase economic growth and technological advancement all around the world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you believe the benefits of a younger population outweigh the drawbacks, and you address both sides of the question. The points about physical capacity, innovation and economic growth are relevant, while the discussion of stress and crime provides a counterargument. This meets the task well, and the examples show an effort to support your claims. However, some reasoning is not fully explained: for instance, the link between having more young adults and fewer hospitalisations is asserted rather than demonstrated, and the claim that stress leads to aggressive behaviour and crime is broad. To strengthen the response further, explain these connections carefully and use more specific, credible examples to support your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your view. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, particularly through repeated “So” and “It helps,” and some links between claims are unclear. For example, the paragraph moves from young adults’ career focus to stress, then to aggression and crime without fully explaining each connection. The sentence beginning “And also” is also an awkward continuation. Use a wider range of linking methods, make references such as “it” more precise, and build each paragraph through clearly explained cause-and-effect steps.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “technological advancement,” “innovations,” and “stress level,” so the reader can understand the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts of the response less natural. Examples include “thinking capacity,” “improve constructions,” “give a relief for their brain,” and “crimes happen due to unable to co-op with the stress.” Spelling errors such as “aggrasive,” “Additionaly,” “ocu[r],” and “methords” also reduce accuracy. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully. More precise expressions for employment, health services and social behaviour would help you express your arguments clearly and appropriately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “compared to advantages, we can minimise the risk of disadvantages” and a relative clause in “the activities need physical energy.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “The number of young adults are” has subject–verb disagreement, and “this young adults” has incorrect number agreement. In “it sometimes drive them,” the verb does not agree with its subject; “due to unable to co-op” also lacks a grammatical construction. Work on agreement, articles and complete clause patterns, and revise sentences aloud to check that each subject has a matching verb. Greater accuracy in these areas would make your varied sentence attempts more effective.

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