Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It has been observed that, in some nations the huge figure of adolescents, while the number of the eldery are less comperd to them. There are a myriad benefits aswell as drawbacks of this statistics between the old people and the young adults.my perspective with the evidence will be elaborated in the ensuing paragraphs.

On the one hand, examining the positive side of younger generation imapacts on the society. The foremost on is that the younge people can benefits their countries with vraity of high possions in different sectors,means after they graduate from universities they will be capable to work in different fields, for example hospitals, factors or schools

and it is an effective approach to thrive the society. Another point to consider good healthcare, the majority of the young adults have a good health due to physical activities and good diet, for instance adolescents are aware that they need to maintain their health with exercise and eating good quality of food.

On the other hand, examining the negative aspects of the significant decline of eldery proportion nowadays. the most common reason of this isssue is lack of healthcare, to be spicific the majority of the old people are dead because of the different diseas, for instance coronavirous tend to target the old peaple, in addition the adolescents need the wisdom of the old generation from yheir past experiences.

To conclude, there are both merits and demerits oh this issue, however I tend to say that the first claim is more advantagous because we need young people in different sectors to develop the countries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both sides of the situation and state a preference for the advantages, particularly the contribution young people can make in different sectors. The examples of graduates working in hospitals, factories or schools and older people’s experience are relevant starting points. However, the discussion remains limited and some claims are unclear or insufficiently supported. For example, the point about young people’s health does not explain how this benefits society, while the claim that older people die because of a “lack of healthcare” is not convincingly linked to a younger population. Develop each main idea with a clearer explanation and a specific, relevant example, and make your position explicit from the introduction onward.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting sides, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal this contrast, and the final sentence returns to your preference. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because ideas are joined loosely or left incomplete; the sentence about young people’s health, for instance, does not clearly connect to the argument about national benefits. Some linking phrases are repetitive, and punctuation and paragraph presentation make boundaries less clear. Organise each body paragraph around one central claim, then explain and illustrate it in sequence, using referencing and transitions more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “generation,” “sectors,” “proportion,” “wisdom” and “develop the countries,” and some choices show an effort to discuss social effects. However, the range is limited and frequent spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “eldery,” “comperd,” “vraity of high possions” and “diseas.” Several expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “the huge figure of adolescents” and “good healthcare” do not clearly convey the intended point. Build accuracy with common collocations and check spelling carefully. Prefer precise phrases such as “a large proportion of young adults” and “contribute to economic development.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use some longer sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because” and “after,” and the response generally attempts to explain reasons and examples. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty, with frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and verb forms. For example, “the majority of the young adults have a good health” has an unnecessary article, while “the adolescents need the wisdom … from their past experiences” has an unclear grammatical relationship. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, including the run-on opening of the second sentence and the lowercase “the” after a full stop. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly attached supporting clause before adding more complexity.

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