Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is stated that nowadays in some states the older people population is comparitively less than the younger people. Having young people in more numbers is beneficial for econmoic growth and health systems while it also have few downside.

One of the advantages of having young people in more numbers is beneficial is that there will be more energetic and sharp minded people available for work leading in economical growth of a country. Similarly, young people put less pressure on health care system of a state resulting in budget saving mechanism on health care sector and focus will be more towards other important issues. For example, Japan is successful in ecnomic sector of the world because young population outweighs old population and there are more young minded people readily available to work and participitate in work sector.

One of the drawback of having more young people in state is to have less experienced people in country. Similarly, experience always comes with practice and age along with that older people are more devoted towards work and life while young people tend to perform more errors due to their less experience and careless behaviour. For example, in my office I always look up to my seniors for motivation and guidance who tend to give best suggestions and corrections due to their work experience and time in a work field.

In conclusion, having young people outnumbered old people is beneficial due to energy and sharp mind of youth but older people experience is also neccassory for any state.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: a youthful population is beneficial, although older people’s experience remains valuable. The points about economic contribution and lower pressure on healthcare are relevant, and the office example helps illustrate the value of experienced workers. However, the comparison of advantages and disadvantages is not fully developed: the disadvantage is mainly about inexperience, while the conclusion does not explain why the benefits outweigh this concern. The Japan example also needs more accurate, relevant support; its claim that Japan has a larger young than old population is questionable. Explain the scale or wider effects of each point and make the weighing-up explicit to strengthen your response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of discussion easy to follow. You also use linking expressions such as “Similarly,” “For example,” and “In conclusion.” However, some connections feel mechanical or do not express the relationship precisely: “Similarly” introduces a different supporting point in both body paragraphs. The opening sentence of the advantages paragraph is also awkwardly constructed, making the relationship between the claim and its explanation less clear. Use a wider range of purposeful links, and make each paragraph progress from a clear main idea to explanation and evidence. The conclusion should directly compare the two sides rather than simply restating them.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “economic growth,” “health care system,” “pressure,” “experience,” and “guidance.” These choices communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several inaccurate spellings or collocations reduce precision. Examples include “comparitively,” “econmoic,” “participitate,” and “neccassory”; “young minded people” is also not a natural way to describe workers. Repeated use of “young people” and “more numbers” makes the discussion less flexible. Aim to use accurate topic-specific phrases and check spelling carefully. For instance, “a larger proportion of young adults” and “ease the burden on healthcare services” would express your ideas more naturally and precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including explanations linked with “while” and “resulting in,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “it also have few downside” should use a singular verb and a plural noun, while “One of the advantages … is beneficial is that” repeats the sentence structure and obscures the point. In “older people population,” the noun phrase also needs a clearer grammatical form. Work on building a clean subject–verb structure before adding explanations, and check singular/plural agreement and articles. More consistently accurate complex sentences would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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