Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Whether the benefits of a large proportion of youngsters compared to that of elders in some countries particularly outwiegh any potential drawbacks or possess the significant disadvantages is a subject of intense debate. In my opinion, while there are valid arguments on both sides, I firmly believe that although adults yield many advantages to the economy, society and even their lives, these positive outcomes can't overcome the benefits of older people.

On the one hand, many people argue that adults are the most important asset to their country which is absolutely correct. The young adults contribute to the country's overall economic growth by earning good income, paying taxes and following laws and policies. They are also considered best social animals as they play an essential role in building a traditional and supportive society alongwith taking care of their family by providing them with financial and emotional support. For instance, recent studies show that the most highlighting figures contributing in any country's development are their young adults.

On the other hand, I would argue that older people provides us with plentiful sustainable moral benefits. To clarify, young individuals are only willing to provide enough perks by following their elders as they are brought up by them. The older people holding relatively more experience of thier lives than that of young ones are able to make better decisions than adults and then the youngsters follow those decisions to outgrow in their personal, social and economical life which ultimately benefits the country. A clear example of this can be seen in joint families where all the young ones obey the elders and everyone lives happily without any financial or emotional pressure unlike the nuclear families where the only earner of the family faces immense financial and emotional pressure.

In conclusion, although the perks of young adults has its own merits in certain contexts, these perks can never outnumber the positive outcomes provided by the older people. The older people will always remain an important asset to any country irrespective of larger proportion of adults in that country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the question and state a clear view: older people’s contribution outweighs the benefits of a large young-adult population. The two body paragraphs present relevant arguments about young adults’ economic contribution and older people’s experience and guidance. However, the comparison is not fully developed. The first paragraph explains benefits of young adults, but the second focuses mainly on family life and does not clearly show how older people’s contribution outweighs young adults’ broader economic and social role at a national level. The claim that older people enable better decisions would be stronger with a specific explanation or example beyond the general reference to joint families. Develop the comparison directly and support each main claim with more precise evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, contrasting body paragraphs signposted by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion that restates your position. Ideas generally progress in a logical order within each paragraph. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. However, links between claims are sometimes mechanical, and some references are unclear: for example, “these positive outcomes” in the introduction does not clearly identify which group’s benefits are being discussed. The transition from older people’s experience to the comparison between joint and nuclear families also needs a clearer explanation. Use more precise referencing and connect examples explicitly to your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “economic growth,” “financial and emotional support,” “sustainable moral benefits,” and “immense pressure.” These choices show an effort to express abstract ideas, but several are inaccurate or unnatural and sometimes make the meaning less clear. For instance, “adults yield many advantages to the economy, society and even their lives” is an awkward formulation, while “most highlighting figures” and “outgrow in their personal…life” do not convey your intended meaning naturally. There are also spelling errors such as “outwiegh” and “thier.” Aim for precise, conventional collocations and check spelling; simpler accurate wording will communicate your ideas more effectively than ambitious but unsuitable phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “although,” and “where,” and your meaning is generally understandable. Some sentences are controlled, such as the example beginning “The young adults contribute…” However, errors in agreement and sentence construction remain. For example, “older people provides” should use a plural verb, and “the perks of young adults has” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The opening sentence is difficult to follow because its comparison and clause structure are not clearly formed. In the long sentence about joint and nuclear families, the contrast would be clearer if divided or punctuated more carefully. Review agreement and build complex sentences around a clear main clause.

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