Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In modern times, the issue of the population has become highly controversial. some countries includes a relatively the number or young people, differentiate with the number of older individuals. This trend has both advantages and disadvantages. Overall, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

There are several benefits of a large amount of young people. The first advantage is that they are hardworker and they have many kind of skills such as teamworking, driving, and outknowledge. For example, every young people can have know how to work everytime and they can know how to focuse on their work. As a consequence, they can earn money than older people. Moreover, they have lots of skills, which is very essential in their life. For instance, they can easily find a job. On the other hand, older people can not know any kind of skills, and they can not find a occupation.

On the other hand, a large number of young individuals also has some disadvantages. Firstly, a large young population can lead to a higher unemployment rate. This is because the number of job seekers may exceed the number of available positions. As a result, many young adults may struggle to become financially independent. Secondly, many young adults need financial support from their parents while studying or looking for jobs.

In conclusion, although some disadvantages of a large number of young adults, I believe that a large amount of young people is many advantages such as they have know lots of skills, whis is very useful in their daily life. Furthermore, they can easily find a job. As a result, they can built their financial account. Furthermore, they

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view in the introduction—“the advantages outweigh the disadvantages”—and include a relevant disadvantage: competition for jobs may leave young adults financially dependent. However, the advantages are not convincingly explained. Claims that young people are “hardworker” or have “many kind of skills” are broad, and the examples about earning more and finding work do not show why a younger population benefits a country overall. The comparison with older people is also sweeping and unsupported. Your conclusion repeats the position but ends unfinished (“Furthermore, they”), which leaves the response without a complete final point. Develop a few relevant ideas with specific explanations or examples, and make the conclusion complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting advantages, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “Moreover,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers identify the sections. However, progression within the advantages paragraph is unclear: skills, earning money, and finding a job are repeated without a clear sequence or explanation. “On the other hand” is used to introduce a contrast with older people and then again to begin the disadvantages paragraph, making the relationship between ideas less precise. The conclusion also stops mid-sentence, disrupting the ending. Group related points, use linking phrases to show their exact relationship, and ensure each paragraph and the essay finish fully.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “unemployment rate,” “available positions,” “financially independent,” and “financial support.” These phrases communicate the disadvantage clearly. However, much of the vocabulary is basic, repetitive, or inaccurately formed, which sometimes makes the advantages difficult to understand. Examples include “outknowledge,” “hardworker,” “a large amount of young people,” and “built their financial account.” The repeated use of “skills” and “find a job” also limits precision. Choose natural collocations and vocabulary that directly expresses the social or economic effects of a youthful population. For example, explain how a larger workforce can support productivity or tax revenues rather than relying on general claims about young people’s abilities.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, including a cause-and-effect structure: “This is because the number of job seekers may exceed the number of available positions.” That sentence is clear and shows some control of complex grammar. However, errors are frequent in the rest of the response and can make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “some countries includes” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “every young people can have know” combines incompatible verb forms. There are also problems with articles and number, as in “a occupation,” and the final sentence is incomplete. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, countable and uncountable nouns, and verb patterns such as “can + base verb.” Proofread sentence endings and punctuation.

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